#i dont have any other friends. and i know the family time tomorrow will be. not very good for me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

manicpixiefelix · 11 months ago

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he wanted to be in love (but you got in the way)

{ One-Shot for head, heart, hand. }

Summary: When Oliver's lies are revealed to you and Felix, you have a much better time understanding his reasoning for it all, and Oliver convinces you to help talk Felix around into hopefully forgiving him. Felix, however, just grows more frustrated as it appears that you've very quickly moved on from the betray, and are urging him to do so too. Meanwhile, Oliver has come to realise that no matter the outcome, Felix will never really want anyone else if he has you by his side.

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.

Warnings: death (YOU DIE IN THIS ONE), murder via overdose, oliver's birthday party situation, oliver being incredibly manipulative, reader and felix arguing a lot, felix being a bit of a dick, angst with an unhappy ending, toxic felix/oliver endgame, heavy drinking and drug use

{ now with an epilogue }

A/N: 6267 words. ooft ouch ooft my heart. i dont like reader & fi fighting and this whole thing fucked me up bigtime. like bigtime bigtime. big angst, please heed the warnings. what do you think about this one? i like it even if it made me cryyyy

TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

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"Please," Oliver's lip trembles when he grabs your sleeve. He doesn't try and chase Felix after you all get back from the disastrous trip to his parents' house, perhaps part of him knew he wouldn't get through to him in this state, so he latches on to you instead, "you- you know," and even just the helpless sense of desire in his voice is familiar to you, "I just wanted to be his friend, be your friend; be close to you both -" Oliver's fidgeting with your sleeve and your heart's breaking for him, despite the betrayal of his lies.

"Ollie-" you sighed, but he took both your hands in his, tears gathering in the beautiful blue eyes you've come to care so deeply about in the past year.

"I never meant any harm," he insists. His hands are shaking.

"I know, Ollie," you finally concede, giving his hands a gentle squeeze.

"He won't listen to me- won't believe me; please, please, I need you to believe me, I need Felix -" and though he can't seem to finish the request, it's enough. The lies he's told, what they mean for the friendship you've all forged, it makes you feel more than a little queasy, but you think you understand him. At least better than Felix would in this moment.

"I'll try," though your tone doesn't inspire confidence, "just give him space, give him time -"

"I don't have time," Oliver croaks out weakly, gave dropping to the floor, "he'll throw me out tomorrow and never look at me again," this time, when his grip on your hands tightens, it becomes almost painful, face scrunching up as if dreading the tears he was about to shed, the things he was about to say; "and even if you don't hate me the way he does, I'll be losing you too."

Your silence speaks volumes. You hate that he's right.

"You know you're the only hope I've got left." Oliver's nails dig into your skin, but your hands don't shake.

"I will try, that's all I can do."

By the time you get to your room, Felix is already cutting up lines of coke with a delicate little razor from one of the various stashes you and the other wards of the Saltburn Estate had hidden throughout the building over the years. He doesn't look up when you enter, quietly, and furiously focused on the task at hand, cross-legged in the middle of your bed.

Sitting behind him, you lean in to press your forehead between his shoulders, sighing deeply.

"Yeah," Felix mumbles, "it's a bit like that, isn't it?"

Squeezing your eyes closed, all you can see is the love and desperation in OIiver's eyes as he'd held you back, begged for your understanding, forgiveness, friendship -

"You never loved someone so much you'd do anything to keep them around?" You asked softly, and feel Felix go still, "you never lied about your family because you were worried about how people would react if they knew the truth?" The more you consider, the less anger you feel towards what Oliver had done.

"You're different," Felix's voice is carefully neutral. There's a pause, a snort, a line of white powder going up his nose, "you didn't pretend that your dad died just to get sympathy out of me," he points out, already picking at the threads of similarity that you'd laid before him in hopes of softening the betrayal he felt so strongly.

Then he's moving again, doing things you're still not sure of, forehead still pressed to the fabric of his shirt between his shoulders. Sighing, louder this time, you go to say something more, to try and argue your case further, but Felix cuts you off. It's the sharpest he's ever been with you, you think, practically orders you not to talk about this anymore.

Then, he shifts, he reaches for you behind himself, and you move with him, without prompting. Felix leans back, and you move to his side, allow yourself to settle your head on his chest, looking up at him. One hand loosely draped over you, Felix tucks his other behind his head, eyes closed; even if they were open, he wouldn't be looking at you.

"Just shut up about Ollie, just shut up -" his tone is much softer now, but his words still bite more than you're used to, "I don't want to hear anything about fucking Oliver Quick right now." There's a nausea twisting in your gut that you're unfamiliar with, heavy and upsetting, that you somehow know has everything to do with Felix's tone. Part of you feels so embarrassed for even feeling like this, for being so wrapped up in pleasing him that even the slightest hint of disapproval for the first time in years has you so viscerally uncomfortable.

The other part of you ducks your gaze, and curls up against his side, obedient.

"Sure, Fi."

A long silence, softened only by Felix's deep breathing for several long moments before you finally feel him relax.

"I love you," it sounds almost like an apology. You wonder if he knows how to do that. Still, the nausea in your gut immediately begins to clear. This time, when you close your eyes, you try to just be present in the moment for what it is, Felix's arm around you, his steady heartbeat warm beneath your ear; you can find contentment here if you tried.

Much to your chagrin, Felix's mood and feelings of betrayal also meant he was no longer interested in the full costume you'd put together for him for Oliver's birthday party. He's well aware his mother would be appalled if he just showed up in jeans and a shirt, so he reluctantly pulls on the wings you'd spray painted up on the roof a few days before.

"I put time into this, Fi," you pleaded softly, looking at the rest of the costume you'd put together hanging sadly, untouched in his wardrobe.

"Maybe I just want to save it for a happy occasion," Felix refused to even sit down at the dresser, despite where you'd neatly set out both of your accessories for the night. He doesn't even spare the various, gold accoutrements that you'd curated for his costume a second glance, simply fusses with his hair in a way that won't even last.

"You're being ridiculous about this," you finally voice, unable to stop yourself, "he's still Our Oliver, his family doesn't change that -"

Felix goes still in the mirror, expression displeased when he meets your eyes in the reflection. Nausea again. You never want him to look at you like this ever again; you half want to apologise already.

"I don't care about his family, I care about how I don't know if I can believe anything he says! He lied to you, to me, he was clearly lying to his family, considering they have no idea he'd be nothing but a fucking joke at uni if it wasn't for me!" The outburst blindsides you, it seems to even blindside Felix, who has to take a few moments to compose himself before he can look you in the eyes again. Softly, that look of betrayal is turned upon you, "how can you be okay with that?"

A million answers blow through your mind - love, compartmentalisation, hypocrisy - but none feel right. There's no way for you to justify this to Felix, at least, not one that would make him happy, make him understand.

"Our Oliver-" but as he's standing, he cuts himself off, shaking his head, "Your Oliver -" but the words get stuck in his throat. After a beat, he scrubs his face over his hands, "I just don't understand," far calmer, he lets out a deep breath and continues, "how you got over this so fast," but before you can answer, his eyes open, and there's no fire, nor fury, just hurt; "and I need you right now, but not if you're going to be like this."

Oh, you're going to be sick.

It's apologies that spew out of you, nervous, still only half ready, and regretting every word that made Felix look at you like that. He tries awkwardly to tell you that it's not that bad, that he just wishes it felt like you were on his team. Insisting that you are gets you a weak smile from your best friend, but he still leaves seeming unconvinced.

There are voices outside, on the grounds. The party has begun, the sun will be set soon.

Half of your costume hangs up beside Felix's, your elegant, green gossamer robe shining next to the matching, gold gossamer pirate shirt that you had made for Felix. Neither leave the wardrobe, and perhaps you are underdressed in what was basically a set of incredibly ornate, bejewelled, and bedazzled lingerie, and boots, but you couldn't even bring yourself to care.

Perhaps, you consider, if Felix had blown up before you'd gotten this much on, you'd be as dressed down as he was for the event.

Before you leave, however, you go to double check yourself in the mirror, and don't think to knock. Oliver catches sight of you in the mirror before you properly realise he's there. Both freeze, both deer trapped in each other's proverbial headlights. Both with red-rimmed eyes. You wonder if he knows, if he waited with baited breath and an ear pressed to the bedroom door as Felix tore him down and you immediately gave him up to keep your best friend happy.

"You look like a dream," Oliver's voice is hoarse, and he turns to properly face you, to give your costume a generous look over, "merry wanderer of the night," he offers, meeting your gaze again. The line, pulled straight from the play upon which the whole night was based, was one you'd gleefully recounted to him when you told him you would be going as Puck.

There's a slight, sad smile on his lips, a shyness to the way he leans against the counter, but none of the awkwardness he carries around others. There, in his boxers alone, you realise how vulnerable he truly is in this moment, the moment you've so callously interrupted. But Oliver doesn't call you out, nor does he shy away from your gaze.

All words have escaped you in this moment, however. Even the idea of Felix's reaction to his moment makes you feel ill, but part of your heart still breaks for Oliver, for this boy so overwhelmed with love that he would do anything for it.

"I can go," Oliver says softly, apologetically, when you seem frozen even still. It breaks you out, however, and you shake your head vigorously.

"No, its okay Ollie."

"Your," he says slowly, pointedly, "Ollie." He'd heard. Fuck; how much? "I heard all of it," he admits slowly, approaching you. This time, you are the wild animal, cornered in the bathroom. Oliver doesn't look at you like prey, he doesn't approach you like a predator; he doesn't want to spook you, "I didn't mean to get between you and Felix," his voice is soft, and he sniffles a little, but tries to smile through it, "ever; back at Oxford, over Summer, ever."

But you can't bring yourself to look at him. Gently, you loop a finger through the fine, silver chain around his throat, keeping your gaze focused on it without ever tugging it too hard.

"I'm trying," you whisper, voice watery despite your best effort, tears gathering in your eyes, "but I -"

Oliver pulls you into a hug as the damn finally bursts, and the tension, the pressure of the day that had already been pressing down upon you finally breaks. Oliver lets you cry on his shoulder, petting your hair gently.

"But you're a good dog," he murmured as he pressed a kiss to your temple, and you're too distraught to catch the echoes of resentment in his tone.

"It's all I know how to be!"

"I know, pet, I know."

Once you've calmed down, you apologise for your outburst, for having him comfort you at a time like this. There's something different about him, about his smile, the look in his eyes, as he just assures you that it's fine, that he's going to still try and enjoy his night.

After cleaning yourself up and fixing your makeup, finally you make it downstairs. There's more people on the first floor than you'd been expecting, so you have to worm your way through the crowd to search for Felix.

"My gentle puck, come hither!" Felix voice rises through the crowd; if your ears could prick up, they probably would. Just the brightness in his voice lifts you from your melancholy, and when you finally reach him you're beaming.

And he's already drunk.

Which you would like to be too. As if anticipating your requests, he puts two fruity looking drinks in your hands, and picks up another two with a wide smile. You trot along behind him as he cuts a path through the crowd towards the sofas where your friends from Oxford had found themselves. A cheer rises when they see you, all glad for your company, all desperate to hear how your Summer had been so far.

At first, you're simply sitting on the arm of the sofa, beside Felix, bright and animatedly engaging in conversation with the others. Felix finishes his first drink and his arm goes around India, tucked up against his other side, but as soon as his second drink is finished, and you've leaned across him to put your own empty cup on the coffee table between you all, he uses it as an excuse to pull you into his lap.

"Felix," India says when she means what the fuck are you playing at right now? Felix gives a surprisingly cold smile, his hand slipping from her shoulder, moving lower to grip her side rather possessively. You simply wait, ready to move at a moment's notice.

"What?" There's something biting in Felix's voice, something that sounds so uncharacteristically mean as he raises his voice enough for the group to hear, "aren't you all still deluding yourselves about me and Y/N? Don't you still think we're related - or whatever it was Farleigh told you all?" Immediately the tension in your little circle of friends spikes. Felix's hand is practically between your thighs, gripping your thigh like he owns you. In any other circumstance you'd probably enjoy this, but every single one of your friends is suddenly looking at you like they'd never seen you before.

"You hot people disgust me," India finally breaks the tension flippantly, and everyone else cackles with laughter. Felix does actually grin at her, leaning in to kiss her cheek.

"No we don't," he teases gently, and India tries to continue playing at being annoyed, by insisting that she needs something stronger than the bar could offer. As she stands, she looks back, holding out her hands to you and Felix.

"Come on, disgusting hot people; I know you're both already high and probably want some more."

"Knew there was a reason I liked you, India," you grinned, glad to have escaped that encounter without much of a mental or physical scratch, though Felix does make a point of grabbing your ass as you stand, even with India holding his other hand.

However you're another line deep in the bathroom, with India, Felix, and two of the others who'd followed along, when that good mood evaporates. Oliver stands in the door, waiting, watching; you're the first to notice him, to catch his gaze properly, but all he does is clear his throat. Felix looks to him when Oliver finally calls his name, but pointedly acts like he doesn't in the next moment.

"Can I, er, talk to you for one second?" Oliver asks faintly, but is met with no response. Instead of looking at Oliver, Felix momentarily flicks a frustrated gaze at you, like he feels your sudden discomfort and fidgeting is a personal betrayal, "you can't ignore me forever," Oliver tries, but Felix gives him a cold smile.

"I can try."

"Fi," you hissed, but all you get is another glare.

"Felix, we need to talk," Oliver was begging now, but he turned his attention to you, pleading, "can you get him to please listen to me, just for a moment -" but his words have your heart freezing in your chest. You can't even stutter Felix's name out before he's dismissing you both.

"I tried being nice about this," Felix huffed, "but if you're still insisting on playing Devil's Advocate for him, the both of you can fuck off and go bother the rest of the party." He relights his cigarette, but he doesn't even look at you once. One more time you try, reaching out, apology on your tongue, but he shrugs you off and finally gives a cutting look, "no I told you, okay? You're over it; fucking great for you. I'm not, and I don't have to be, so piss off and be over it away from me."

You stand, momentarily unsteady on your feet before you regain your balance and head to the door. Everything in your mind is a mess of emotions. The drugs and alcohol are sending you into overdrive, though neither is the reason you're feeling so sick. Still, while you know where Felix is coming from, one look at Oliver as you reach the door and you can't help but stop. Turning back, you hope Felix can read how damn hurt you are by all this;

"I'm not a monster for having a heart, Felix."

And you take some small victory from the surprise in his eyes. Before he can respond, however, you grab Oliver's hand and lead him away.

With another two fruity drinks, you and Oliver sit on the edge of the fountain outside, watching the revelry, mirroring each other's weary slump.

"How are you finding your birthday party?" You asked lamely after a few minutes. Oliver took a few moments to deliberate, while you sipped down your drink quite quickly.

"Don't know anyone," he says mildly, "and the people I do know think I'm a joke -" right, he'd heard Felix's earlier comments about the group from Oxford's feelings, "and I was aware kind of from the start of knowing youse," he casts his gaze to you now, turning to you, eyes meeting yours, "that my two best friends were bonded like those cats at the shelter, the kind you can't separate from each other or they'll cry all day and refuse to eat until you put them back together," the smile he gives you is humourless, and doesn't even reach his eyes, "but one hates me and the other has no spine," he shrugged like he hadn't just insulted you, going back to people-watching, "so I don't think it'll go down as my best birthday ever."

"I have a spine," you scowled, as if straightening your posture proved his point at all.

"Why? You don't need it," still as mild as before, Oliver takes a long, loud sip of his drink, "you've got Felix."

"I'm trying to help you, Oliver, I swear -"

"You don't know how to stand up for yourself, Y/N," this time, the look that he gives you is simply pitying, "I'm sorry I asked you to try and stand up for me." The words ache like a punch to the gut, "you're not even trying to help me for me, or for how much you supposedly love me; you love that I love Felix."

"Oliver, I love you!" You insisted through angry tears and gritted teeth, "how your mind works, how you figure things out, the books you like, the way you're constantly watching and cataloguing and remembering, it shows you care about the world around you and the people in it. I love that you're obsessive and ambitious and that you can be ruthless -" it comes out messy and unrehearsed, but you slowly see the shock and genuine awe on Oliver's face as he comes to terms with the fact that you're being genuine. For the first time all evening, you think you see guilt in his eyes. It's gone too fast, Oliver turning away.

"I love you too," he says gently, following it carefully with, "but we both know who you crawl into bed with at the end of every night." Then, under his breath, sounding so forlorn, "do not separate."

"Oliver-" but he stands, stretches, and finishes off his beer.

"He's probably already missing you, waiting to forgive you," he puts his empty beer bottle down on the edge of the fountain, and for just a moment, he reaches out and gently holds your face. Nothing is said, but there's endless, unreadable emotions in his eyes as he gazes into yours.

Then he's gone.

Making your way back to the estate itself, you forgo looking for Felix, half ashamed of the idea that Oliver was right, and instead slip beneath the velvet rope that cordoned off the upper floors of the house. Back in your bedroom, the stash of coke Felix had raided before the party was still reasonably well stocked, and the bottle of bourbon that you'd stashed in the broken piano last Christmas was thankfully untouched. There was something seriously sad, you think to yourself, about drinking and snorting alone in your room, upstairs from a party where you know your friends are all doing it too. But you don't want to see them. Don't want to see anyone.

The remainder of yours and Felix's matching outfits taunt you silently from the closet door on which they hang. They're beautiful and vapid and cold; you hate them.

"Oh, sorry, didn't realise you were -" it's Felix at the door - of course it is, who else would it be? - who startles you out of your thoughts. There's no frustration in his eyes anymore, no anger, just surprise. His gaze roams over you, from the drugs balanced on your knee to the half-full bottle cradled in your lap, "you okay?" Oliver's right, of course. Oliver's right about a lot of things.

"Yeah," you sniffle, taking another swig of the drink, "what did you need?"

"Think they're gonna sing happy birthday to Ollie soon," Felix leans against the doorframe. You share in an awkward silence for a long moment.

"That why you're here?"

"I came up to see if there was any of that coke left from before," he says, looking at the mirror on your knee and the still mostly full baggie on the bed next to you. Then, he gives a sheepish little grin, "yeah," he admits.

"We should be down there," you say without thinking. Felix's expression falls, and he kicks at the doorframe for a moment, "you do care about his family," spills from you; you're not even sure from where. Felix's expression grows darker.

"Why are you so insistent about doing this?"

"Because you love him, Felix," you remind him firmly, before putting down the bottle and rolling up the already significantly curved bill beside you, "and he loves you, and you know that," picking up the mirror, you make short work of the last line to avoid looking at Felix. Dragging your finger across the glass, you pick up the last of the residue, wiping it on your gums. Your hands remain busy as you pack the remainder of it all into the little, wooden box it was kept in, as you spoke, "you hate the parts of you he figured out, the buttons he learned how to push; Oliver," you snapped the box shut, looking up at him, "was too good to be true, and that's why you're hurt; you're scared it's like Eddie all over again, too good to be true -"

"You shut up about Eddie -" Felix warned, but you stood, box in hand, approaching him with a fierce, intoxicated determination.

"Eddie was never too good, you were just in love! Eddie wasn't even loyal!" You cried, shoving him with the box, letting out a desperate sentiment that you'd let fester in the darkest part of your heart for over a year, "he was never going to be loyal! He never loved you as much as you loved him! Never! And you were so blinded by how happy he seemed to be with this 'better life' you were offering him, you could never bloody see it -"

"You are drunk and high," Felix spits at you, clearly holding himself back from tears.

"But all I ever want is you to be happy," hanging your head, you push the box into his grip and stumble back to the bed, searching for the bottle, "why can't you trust me about this?"

"Oliver fucking lie to me, betrayed me -"

"Us!" You shouted, unscrewing the lid with vigour, "to keep you in his life. You just don't like what the lies he used to keep you around say about you." And with that you furiously started chugging more of the drink.

"I'm done with you," Felix's voice is weak, hands coming up to cover his face. Lowering the bottle, all you can do is stare at him. It's like you've been splashed with ice water.

"Fi -"

"I need space; I need you out of my room for the rest of Summer."

"Fi, please -"

"I thought you were fucking better than this!" He snapped, finally stalking away, while you were too disorientated to even go after him.

The first thing you manage to do is stumble to the bathroom and throw your guts up into the sink. Physically you feel a bit better, but the nausea you can now tell is psychological. Downstairs, though you don't know how much time has passed, the house has transformed itself into a rave. Too bright. Too hot. Too sticky. You think you catch sight of Ollie, but your gaze quickly moves to Felix, silhouetted by neon and haze, looking like an angel. Beside him, India sparkles and giggles and her hands are all over him. You want him to be happy, you don't want to interrupt but you have to -

Someone catches you before you faceplant in the middle of the dancefloor, and it turns out it is Oliver.

"You look like a bit of a mess," he says, aiming for a light, joking tone, but it almost sets you off. Seeing you about to start crying, Oliver starts to panic, and suggests the two of you get some air. Though you want to protest, you see Felix and India, hand in hand, making their way to the side doors. Oliver, champagne in one hand, has his other arm under yours, supporting you as the two of you made your way out too.

The night air is cool, a sharp contrast from inside, so sharp it almost stings.

"I should'a kept my mouth shut," you whimpered, "I didn't need a spine, why did I listen to you?" Oliver is simply quiet, listening to you ramble, getting the gist of what had happened between you and Felix as you slowly made your way to the maze.

"I don't wanna go in," you whispered at the entrance, looking down it's tall, green corridor. Oliver looked at you strangely.

"Worried you'll get lost?"

"I could never get lost, Felix made sure of that plenty of times." Carefully, you extract yourself from Oliver, sitting cross-legged by the entrance of the maze, looking out over the rest of Saltburn with your back to the hedges; Oliver watches you curiously, "I can wait for Fi here."

"I can't wait," Oliver finally says, "I don't have the time. I have to try."

You, surprisingly serene and content with your decision, more at peace than you'd been during the entire walk over, make no attempt to stop him. You just tell him you'll be here when he gets back. This time you genuinely smile, insisting he go in without you.

"I'll be here, I promise; I'll wait."

So he goes, and you listen to his footsteps retreating. After a few minutes, however, he returns.

"I think you need this more than I do," and he hands you the bottle of champagne he'd been carrying. Turns out there's only really a quarter of the bottle left, but at least you think it won't be enough to make you sick again.

As frustrated as Felix could get, he's never not forgiven you. That's all you can think about as you finish off the bottle.

You would apologise. You would make it up to him. You could make this better again.

Except...

Hang on, wait, who was that who just ran out of the maze? Someone ran out of the maze? You were pretty sure someone did anyways... maybe India, if Oliver had confronted -

Oliver is the second to escape the maze. Instead of heading directly back, he waits, unseen for Felix to leave, observing the way he'd stumble out, not even glancing around enough to see you on the ground in the shadow of the maze itself. Once he was sure he was alone, Oliver crept over to your catatonic body, mouth agape, bottle still clutched but empty in one hand. Still breathing, though it was shallow, he checked your pulse only to feel a heartrate like a humming bird. If he called out now, Felix could hear him, could get help, could save your life.

But Felix would want for nothing as long as he had you by his side.

When you start convulsing, Oliver leaps away, startled. But he watches, and remains quiet. He takes the bottle, and just for a moment presses his forehead to yours.

"I'm sorry," it almost gets caught in his throat, "I loved you, I promise I did."

And he leaves.

Oliver wakes to a knock on the door. While Felix doesn't exactly seem happy to see him, it appears he has bigger things to worry about.

"Is Y/N in here?" He cuts right to the chase; there's dark circles under his eyes.

"Have you gotten any sleep?" Oliver yawns. Felix shifts his weight from one foot to the other.

"I've checked literally every other room in this house," ignoring him, Felix explains himself, "I told them last night I wanted them to stay somewhere else, but I didn't mean it," he frowns, peering around Oliver as best he could, trying to see for himself. Oliver, who already knew this, but still played dumb, went wide-eyed.

"You didn't talk to them last night?"

"I was talking to them a lot last night -"

"They were waiting outside the maze for you; they were there when I left."

Oliver's never seen Felix run so fast.

It takes Duncan informing the rest of the family over breakfast that a gardener has spotted Felix sat by the edge of the maze for the past hour, to clear up his whereabouts.

"And have you heard from Y/N?" Elspeth adds, though Venetia buts in.

"Probably at the maze with Felix," she rolls her eyes; Oliver looks at his eggs, his runny, sickening eggs, and keeps his mouth shut. Elspeth sighs and requests someone go and collect them, tell them that lunch is ready, and promptly directs a smile at Oliver, asking how he'd enjoyed his birthday.

Oliver's halfway through an awkward thanks, assuring her it was grand, before Duncan re-enters. For the first time since Oliver first laid eyes on him, he looks genuinely shaken.

"I, uh, I do apologise," his words keep getting caught, and he can't seem to focus his gaze for too long, "I have some tragic news; Captain Y/N has passed away."

The world stops.

Felix Catton sits in the shadow of the hedge maze with you, his best friend, the love of his life, dead in his arms.

"I thought you were fucking better than this!"

His last words to you echo endlessly in his head as he cradles you to him. He'd found you slumped over at a painful angle, clearly having been sitting cross-legged on the grass, waiting, just as Oliver had said, still wearing part of the outfit you'd prepared. You looked so cold, so he'd wrapped you up in the robe he'd been wearing, maroon; you'd always said it was your favourite of his, but you'd never wear it, said it looked better on him.

"Can't believe I made you wait," it wasn't the first time he'd muttered it since finding you, "I'm so sorry, I won't do it again," he assured, and leaned in, pressing his forehead to your cold shoulder and collarbone, "and I didn't mean it about needing space from you; I couldn't even do it for one night, I got so lonely I spent the entire night searching all hundred and bloody something rooms we have, for you."

"Felix?" Venetia's voice is the first one he's heard since Oliver's, and it shakes, "Feef?" And maybe it's the way he can tell she's started crying, or the nickname he hasn't heard since he was six, but it all hits him at once. Finally he starts to cry, the shock giving way to anguish as Venetia drapes herself over him at the sight of you. Farleigh goes into shock, silent, falling to his knees before he brings his head down too, completely shutting down.

Oliver doesn't know how to react, doesn't know if he can. He stands back from the others, back from even James and Elspeth, silent. He did what he had to do. It takes him a long time to realise he's even started crying too.

Elspeth and Sir James try to keep up a sense of normalcy around the house, but barely anyone is able to keep up. Farleigh and Venetia show up and barely speak, Oliver can't bring himself to even look at anyone at the dining table, and Felix hasn't shown up for three days straight. He's been locked in his room, and none of them blame him.

None of the others know that he comes out at night. Well, he opens the door during the day since the staff have started leaving plates of food for him at his mother's request. But during the night, Felix leaves his room to crawl into Oliver's bed. Oliver never makes comments, but he always makes room, and Felix still hasn't kicked him out of the house. Small steps to victory.

"All those lies, all that shit you told us, you did it because you'd do anything to keep us around," on the third night, Felix speaks into the darkness, back to Oliver under the expensive sheets.

"To keep you around," Oliver corrected quietly, "I knew as long as I had you around, I would have them too." After a few moments, he could hear Felix start to sniffle. Carefully, testing his luck, Oliver shuffled around to face Felix. Wriggling closer, he draped an arm over Felix's chest and pulled him close, pressing himself against Felix's back. In the moment, Felix takes Oliver's hand and laces their fingers together.

"They always loved you, Felix; I never saw anything like it."

Small steps to victory.

At your funeral, Felix finally sees your parents. He wonders if looking at them is anything like looking at the idea of who you would have grown into. He doesn't think so; their expressions are so cold beneath their performance of grief.

They do, however, seek him out, ask his name, and hand him a framed photo. They say they won't be needed it anymore. It's you and Felix beneath the Eiffel Tower, arms around each other, each of you using your free hand to together form a heart between you, laughing at something just off camera. Oliver makes a disdainful remark about your parents, but slips his hand in Felix's, and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

Elspeth asks if Felix wants to keep the photo in his room, and when he remarks that he doesn't know, she suggests it gets placed with the other family photos over the fireplace in the television room. It fits in perfectly.

"I love you," Felix mumbles in the dead of night, pressed up along Oliver's back, lips in his hair, arm around him, "like proper love you." Oliver is quiet, "the kind of love I've been wanting to tell you for a while, but now I'm terrified that the reasons I love you aren't even real."

It's been a few weeks, he's intergraded back into life at home, but has taken a leave of absence from Oxford. As has Oliver. He still hasn't left Saltburn, he wonders if he ever will, if he ever has to.

"What parts?" Oliver said, voice barely more than a whisper, "I'll never lie to you again; I want you to know the truth of me." There's a rush of electricity, his fingers and toes feel all tingly; he doesn't want to sound too enthusiastic, but can't help but feel a giddy rush.

"I like how you can figure heaps of stuff out, but," Felix hesitates and hums, "I don't think I like what you figured out about me," he admits.

"I'll never bring that up again," Oliver reassures him, but Felix just hums once more, "and I figured out more stuff about you, good stuff; I figured out what made me love you too."

Felix presses a kiss to the back of his head. He doesn't smile, but that's to be expected nowadays. Felix doesn't really smile a lot anymore.

But Oliver takes it for what it is; his victory.

{ epilogue }

#felix catton x reader x oliver quick #saltburn x reader #felix catton x reader #saltburn imagine #felix catton imagine #felix catton x you #oliver quick x reader #felix catton x y/n #oliver quick imagine #oliver quick x you #oliver quick x y/n #head heart hand fic #manic writer

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rebelangelwings · 1 year ago

Text

Thank you so much for the request Sparrow <3

It's a little open ended but I hope you like it!

____________________________________

could i please request a buddie/reader getting together fic? i dont mind the specifics but maybe reader thinks buck and eddie are already dating (even though they arent) so when one of them confesses, reader is really confused and it ends up with all of them tgt?

______________________________________

Y/n had been introduced to the 118 family through Maddie and her work at Dispatch. The two had clicked instantly, sharing knowing looks about particularly arrogant members of staff or stifling giggles in the breakroom. Relatively new to the area, y/n didn't have any friends or many family members she could regularly see other than her cousin and their kid who she doted on.

Chimney had been her first encounter with an official member of Firehouse 118, when he kindly picked up a tipsy Maddie and y/n from a Dispatch work Christmas party, and chatted along with her before dropping her to her small apartment.

"So, y/n do you have any family in the area?" Chimney looked at her in the rear view mirror.

"My cousin Lola doesn't live far. She has a kid, Joey. I adore her." She replied with a smile on her face at the mention of Joey.

Maddie tuned into the conversation, sitting up and exclaiming, "oh she is so adorable, Chim! She's got this wheelchair with all these Disney characters painted on it that y/n did by hand!"

Y/n smiled but ducked and shook her head slightly at Maddie bragging on her behalf. "We've actually been having a bit of trouble recently…trying to find or get Joey into a school that is accessible. There aren't as many around as you might like to think."

Chim looked thoughtful, "my pal, Eddie, he's another firefighter at the 118, his son Christopher has CP. I could ask him if he'd be willing to speak with you about how he got Chris into his school?"

Not one to naturally ask for help, y/n felt awkward, "do you think he would mind? I don't want to put people out, especially as he's never even met me."

"Come meet him then!," Maddie chirped, spinning in her seat, "Bobby is having a BBQ tomorrow afternoon. You should come, right Chim?"

"Absolutely. Bobby always says, 'the merrier' and there are always so many leftovers. We can pick you up if you want?"

And so the next afternoon, y/n found herself in the garden of the captain of the 118, someone who she had spoken to plenty of times over the Dispatch radios, but never met.

Everyone in the extended 118 family was kind and welcoming, not thrown off at all at an outsider joining them.

Maddie had gone round giving introductions, most memorably for y/n were two tall and effortlessly handsome men who were seemingly teasing each other, shoulder and thighs pressed together and beers in hand.

Buck and Eddie.

Y/n would have been enamored with them, had she not taken note of the way Eddie's hand rested on Buck's shoulder, or Buck teased Eddie about his cooking catastrophes, or the looks of sheer devotion both of them had for each other.

Of course these two gorgeous, kind, selfless, brave, firefighters were already spoken for.

Y/n did get an opportunity to speak to Eddie about little Joey, and he was more than happy to speak about Christopher's school and his struggle and eventual success with getting him enrolled.

"It's really sweet of you to care so much for your cousin's kid," Eddie smiled at her.

"Me and my cousin are close. More like best friends, and we have a bit of a rocky relationship with the rest of the family so it was just pretty natural to step in and be a part of Joey's life."

Eddie nodded appreciatively.

Later, Buck found y/n trying to find a drink in the kitchen, "hey, y/n, I forgot to say earlier how great it is to finally meet you - Maddie talks about you a lot."

Y/n looked up from the fridge and beamed, "naaw that is really sweet and I am most definitely going to tease her about that later…what sort of stuff has she said about me, exactly?" She becomes suspicious.

Buck looked mischievous as he said conspiratorially, "Uh… does blue vomit right a bell?"

Y/n gasped, "she didn't?!"

Buck nodded, repressing a laugh, "mhm. An unfortunate incident with a hot glue gun? Oh! My favourite has to be the one with the LEGO."

Y/n had her head in her hands whilst Buck laughed at her embarrassment. Finally she lifted her head and raised an eyebrow, "Laugh it up Buckley. Go ahead. But Maddie talks to me too and I know a fair amount of your greatest hits."

"You're bluffing."

"Am I? Am I really…Firehose?"

Buck's mouth dropped open as his ears turned pink, "wha- how did she…dammit Chim!"

"Not to mention the bread that landed you in hospital, or your unfortunate boy-band blond frosted tips phase."

"Hey, that was fashionable when I was in Peru!" Buck tried to defend himself.

"Baby, that has never been fashionable anywhere on the globe."

At that moment, Eddie joined them in the kitchen area. He was overcome with an emotion he didn't often feel, which confused him to no end. Because, jealousy was not completely foreign to him, however, confusion over who he was jealous of in this situation, was a foreign concept to Eddie Diaz.

__________________________________

Weeks went by following y/n's first introduction to the 118, and many encounters had followed, either as a big group, or as quiet nights drinking wine with the Buckley siblings, or a meeting at a coffee shop with Eddie to talk about the bureaucracy of the American education system.

Whilst y/n enjoyed the company of Buck and Eddie very much so, she didn't allow her feelings to be anything more than friendship, knowing they were unavailable on several levels.

The boys however, had found themselves conflicted for a while now.

Firstly, Eddie was still ruminating over his feelings of jealousy that occurred that day, hearing and seeing the almost flirty conversation between his best friend and the beautiful woman that cared so deeply about her family.

Buck, in a slightly different position, was far more in tune with her sexuality that Eddie. Buck had explored other options on his travels, he knew that he was not straight although he had yet to place a label on himself, and he had even been in a poly relationship whilst in South America. It hadn't lasted long and was mostly about sex rather than feelings, but it had opened his eyes to other options. Buck was also painfully aware of how in love with Eddie Diaz he was. Had been for a while now. But he had yet to make any moves, giving Eddie space to come to terms with his own identity and feelings.

And, unbeknown to Buck, Eddie had realised his feelings towards his best friend were not strictly platonic. He was talking with his therapist, Frank, and slowly coming to his own conclusions.

So, when y/n arrived, all yellow energy and wit, that really threw a spanner into the works for Eddie.

Unknowingly, both men experienced the same "oh" moment about their feelings towards y/n at the same moment. They had arranged a playmate between Chrisopher and Joey, the three adults first taking them to the zoo, and then returning to Eddie's house for snacks. The two children were crowded around y/n as they recounted their favourite animals from their trip, and she proceeded to illustrate them in a sketchbook.

The children were amazed at her accuracy, as were Buck and Eddie when they saw her work.

"You're an incredible artist, y/n," Buck told her.

"Don't be silly, they're just doodles, Buck" She rolled her eyes.

"Not like any doodle that I've ever seen," Eddie chipped in.

"Well then I'll take the title of Doodle Queen if it's up for grabs," she joked, not looking up from her paper.

Both men glanced at each other, smiling fondly.

__________________________________

Things started to evolve from there, at least for Buck and Eddie.

Eddie began to feel a low level of animosity towards Buck, thinking that he would make a move on y/n.

And Buck, whilst he was open to ideas of polyamory, did not think Eddie or y/n would be, and thus felt anxious at the prospect of becoming a third wheel.

The other members of the 118 started to sense the different dynamic between the two, having expected them to finally realise and admit their feelings for each other by now.

Everything changed when the 118 were dispatched to multiple vehicle pile ups.

"Alright Team," Bobby directed as they exited the engine. Each member took stock of the several damaged cars, a small fire already forming from one and a lorry pressing a small Toyota precariously onto the edge of the bridge. "Hen, Chim, you're on triage, work your way through the casualties. Buck, Eddie, I want you harnessed up and working on that Toyota, I'll assist from up top. Let's go!"

As they got closer to the teetering vehicle, Buck turned to Eddie, "isn't that… is that y/n?"

"Shit. Y/n!" Eddie began running, joined immediately by Buck.

Y/n was just coming round to consciousness, confused why she had fallen asleep upright. When she finally managed to peel her eyes open, being stuck together by something, she could see a clear view of LA.

Looking around frantically, she started to remember the moments before she had fallen asleep: horns honking, crashed from behind her, her leg hurting with the force she applied the car brakes, it not making a different because a lorry slammed into the rear of her tiny car and propelled it through the bridge barriers. Pain. Airbags. Nothing.

The moment before she felt her heart was going pound right out of her chest, she heard two familiar voices.

"Y/n, is that you?!"

"Y/n?!"

"Buck! Eddie!" She clarified her identity. As she turned to get a better look at them, there was a wobbling sensation that had her freezing.

"Woah woah! Don't move, y/n. Y/n, do not move, okay?" That was Buck.

"You're going to be just fine, but we need you to stay really still, okay? Just let us do all the work, y/n." Eddie that time.

For the next few minutes she could hear them speaking in low voices to each other, could hear shouting from the rest of the scene, and the occasional radio crackle. The lack of distraction from her view of impending doom wasn't serving her well.

"Uh…guys. I don't mean to be any trouble and I know you're doing your best out there, but I'm really freaking out. Like, about to have a panic attack kind of freak out." She called.

A pause. And then Eddie spoke, "That's okay, mi amor. You're doing great, y/n, handling this like a champ. We've secured the bumper of the car to our engine so we've got you a little more secure. Still need you to stay nice and still though, got it?"

Y/n nodded to herself, "Thank you for updating me. However, I've been driving this car for years now and I'm well aware of it falling to pieces. I don't know how confident I feel about it being secured to the engine."

"That's why Buck and I are putting on harnesses right now and are going to get you out. Don't you worry, you're going great, just keep taking deep breaths."

Buck was next to speak, "Eddie's right, you're going great, y/n. We're on our way to you now, okay?"

Buck didn't lie. Within minutes she could hear movement at the rear door of the vehicle. The rear of the vehicle had been squashed like an accordion in the collision with the lorry, and so they were going to use jaws on the back door to access her.

She was instructed to cover her eyes if she could and keep her back to the machinery.

Soon, she felt the door being removed, and the unforgiving movement that alerted her to someone else entering the car.

"Hey, mi amor, how are we doing?" Eddie.

Eddie was with her. She allowed herself to breathe a little easier just knowing he was close.

"Try not to move, okay, I'm going to access you real quick and then pop this C-collar on you just as a precaution." Eddie proceeded to feel her neck from behind her, getting her rapid pulse, then placing the hard plastic around her neck, forcing her gaze upwards. "Can you tell me where you're hurt, y/n?"

"My head. Think I passed out. And my chest…probably the airbags."

"Okay, good job, and can you wiggle your toes? No numbness anywhere?" Eddie asked while moving about doing something.

"No numbness I don't think. I don't know, Eddie, I really want to get out now please." Her voice broke as her resolve started to crumble.

"I know, mi amor, we're working on it."

"Eddie." She heard Buck. He sounded serious, almost like a warning. Then she heard the metallic grinding.

"Okay, okay. Y/n this is what's going to happen, I'm going to cut your seat belt off and on the count of three I'm going to pull you through the middle of the seat and pass you over to Buck. We're going to be quick and we're going to be careful."

She could hear the barely stifled panic in Eddie's voice.

The belt was cut and she made an effort not to move.

"Okay, one…" Eddie had his arms around her waist, putting uncomfortable pressure on a sore spot, "two…" he moved causing the car to wobble precariously, "three!" Eddie heaved her body through the gap, ignoring the cry of pain. Y/n could barely make out what was happening before she was face to face with Buck who was reaching out for her.

She moved her arms out too until she cast her eyes downward and noticed there was nothing but a sheer drop and water below them. If her head wound wasn't already making her queasy, that view certainly had done it.

Eddie was gently guiding her to Buck as the car became less stable as a result of their abrupt movements, "y/n, you have to go. Buck had you, okay? He won't let you go. We won't let you go," he murmured in her ear whilst making eye contact with Buck. They seemed to be having another of their silent conversations.

Buck nodded at her, getting a proper grip on her as the car shrieked, "I've got you sweetheart, we've got you. Just close your eyes."

She did as suggested and closed her eyes, and let herself be handed over, limbs automatically grasping at whatever they could, which happened to be Buck as she wrapped around him like a koala to a tree.

She could still hear the metallic creaking growing louder and louder, and then a crack and she felt more than heard Buck gasp.

"Eddie! Eddie, you okay?" Buck called somewhere stirring panic in y/n.

"I'm good! Let's get her up here." Eddie was safe.

Next thing she knew, she was being gently laid on the ground, although her limbs were reluctant to unfreeze from their terrified position.

She could feel movement around her.

"Hey," that was Buck. "Hey, sweetheart, you can open your eyes now. You're safe, y/n.

Slowly, she peeled her eyes open and unbleached her arms and legs, relaxing onto the pavement below her.

Buck was smiling down at her.

"Eddie?" She asked.

"Right here." She couldn't turn her head, but she could hear that he was to her side and feel something wrapped tightly around her arm.

Buck didn't fully disappear from her view but he did move to lightly pressing on her sides, assessing her ribs and noting when she hissed in pain.

Eddie appeared directly in front of her, "just going to shine this light in your eyes, just look straight ahead…Hey," he began softly, seeing the distress in her face, "You're doing really well. We'll get you out of here soon and to the hospital."

At Eddie's soft voice reminding her of an impending hospital stay where she was bound to be alone and uncomfortable, she couldn't help the burning tears that rolled fiercely down her face and tickled her ears.

Eddie started to catch some of the tears with the back of his fingers, making concerned eye contact with Buck who leaned into y/n's line of vision.

"Hey, hey, sweetheart. None of that, you're safe. We'll get you checked out at the hospital and you'll be back to normal in no time."

"I- I don't want-" she struggled to get her words out.

"Take a breath. That's it. What don't you want?"

"I don't want…to be a-alone. I'll be…all alone in the h-hospital. Like al-always." She stuttered.

"You're not going to be alone. We won't let you be alone, okay mi amor?"

"Yeah, we'll stay with you, I know how much hospitals can suck without someone to distract you."

Y/n appreciated the sentiment but if anything, having Buck and Eddie sit vigil at her bedside only made it more apparent to her that she was alone whilst they had each other.

"I don't want you wasting your time babysitting me. You have a life together. You have Chris. Plus, no offense, but you two being sickeningly cute and in love won't make me feel any less shit about being alone."

At that moment, Buck and Eddie shared a look over her form. Confusion at her assumption, turning to shock that she could see their inner feelings for the other, then settling into something that looked like contentment and understanding.

It was clear to both men that they shared the same affection for y/n and would do anything to stop her hurting. It was also apparent that both Buck and Eddie were willing - no not just willing, but that they yearned to share this role with y/n.

Eddie was the first to make his move. He reached over across y/n, extending his fingers to his partner. Buck, surprised, but eyes full of contentment, wrapped his own fingers around Eddie's.

"Let's get you to the hospital and home. I think we have lots to talk about."

#buddie 911 #buddie x reader #911 fanfic #buddie fanfic #eddie diaz x reader #evan buckley x reader #buckley diaz family #otp #eddie diaz #911 #911 fox #evan buckley #eddie diaz x evan buckley #eddie diaz x y/n #buck x reader

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casewonnie · 2 months ago

Text

For books and all - Park Sunghoon

Pairing: Park Sunghoon x fem!reader

Summary: the day arrives where one of your favorite book series gets another part of the series and you can't wait to go and get a copy. little did you know it wouldn't be as easy as you think

Genre: dislike to friends, fluff, attempt at humor, chaotic?, talk of books, i dont know how to promote this it came to me in a vision

Warnings: none really, nothing explicit just mild swearing, oh and nonsensical insults, i am cringe but i am free, sunghoon is weird, y/n is weird, both of them have mild anger issues, sunoo is sassy, he also gets dragged and tickled, all of enha are here of course <3 i put the hunger games as the chosen book but you can imagine whatever

Word count: 5.2k

a/n: Hello! First of all, my writing debut wow. Second, thank you for being here and choosing to read my au. I decided to get back into writing, and this is my first ever fic that I finish and actually leaves the vault. I didn't know how to do the text messages so I just left them. If it sucks I apologise it was not beta-read, english is not my first language and I haven't written in a while but I really hope it's not too bad. I also didn't proof read the whole thing. I'm kind of scared to post this.

Sunghoon being chosen for this random prompt was purely based on the fact that I would love to fight him (affectionately, positively)

Any constructive criticism or praise is greatly appreciated. I love interactions.

ENOUGH WITH THE YAP LET'S BEGIN

>The day before the incident<

“Do you know who I love the most?” Niki, the youngest of Sunghoon’s friend group barged in his room all smiles and bright energy.

“How’d you get in, the apartment was locked.” Sunghoon lived with the rest of his friend group who were currently out and about with him enjoying the peace and quiet, well, up until a minute ago... As the youngest, Niki was still living with his family but he stayed over and hung out with them more times than he can count. This wasn’t a complaint, they all loved him like their own little brother, what concerned him is that he was fairly certain Niki didn’t have a spare key to the apartment and the door was definitely locked, so he had no idea how he got in.

“You! I love you the most! Also, don’t worry about it I have my ways.” Niki dismissed him like he asked a banal question.

“That is terrifying?” he replied.

“Anyways, my dear Hoonie, do you know how much I appreciate and look up to you as an older brother?” oh no. Niki was a sweet and thoughtful kid, wrapped in like a... dark, emo-looking exterior that wasn’t fooling anyone, but when he was this sweet, it usually meant he wanted something... “Okay now I’m really scared. You’re not gonna make me like, do something illegal... are you?”

Niki let out a laugh. “Don't be ridiculous... I just need a favor.” he assured him. “So... you know the hunger games, right?”

“You mean one of the most famous book series and movie franchise? Yeah, I’m familiar.” Sunghoon deadpanned.

“The newest book comes out tomorrow, and I need you to go to the store and get me a copy. I have the money and everything I just can’t go because I have a class in the morning. I asked the others but Heeseung and Jake apparently had some math project to finish and Jungwon said he was supposed to go to a... dora the explorer convention...”

Sunghoon scrunched his face in confusion, not even wanting to comment on that last one, and then he realized something. “Wait, wait, wait a second... I wasn’t the first person you asked, not even second, but fourth!? What’s up with that?”

“Oh, well umm, I just didn’t think you’d be up for it that’s all.” Niki didn’t think it would be a big deal to Sunghoon but seems like he was wrong.

“Of course I’m up for it! I’m wayy up... I’m flying with the birds! I’ve basically turned into a satellite.” Sunghoon tried not to sound offended by his friends’ statement but it may not sound as convincing as he thought. “Whatever!”

Niki hadn’t said a word, he just kind of stood there with his hand on his mouth, slightly frozen as if his friend would turn him into a shish kebab if he moved.

Sunghoon got up from where he was laying on his bed to stand in front of Niki, he put his hands on the others’ shoulders and looked him in the eyes, Niki tilting his head backwards now, wondering what he got himself into. “Don’t you worry about a damn thing! I’ll make sure I get you that book. Even if it’s the last thing I do.” he finished the last sentence by shaking the other man back and forth. “I’ll go get it right now!”

Sunghoon let go and sprinted out of the room as fast as he could, Niki snapped out of the weird trance and realized what was happening. “Sunghoon where are you going?! The book comes out tomorrow!” he ran after him out of the apartment and into the hallway but couldn’t see his friend. “I haven’t even shown you how the book looks like!” he tried but just ended up yelling into an empty hallway.

“Man, what the hell...” he whispered to himself lightly rubbing the back of his head, huffed and put his hands on his hips awkwardly. “He’s so odd.” he said and went back inside.

>Day of the incident<

This was it. Today was the big day. You have been anticipating this for almost a year and in just a few hours you will get your hands on what would be your most prized possession, because later today comes out the second prequel to one of your favorite book series. You haven’t been able to stop thinking about it ever since the news came out, and you even decided to re-read all the previous books and rewatch all the movies. You made a whole event out of it and watched the movies together with your friends Sunoo and Jay, who were big fans as well, maybe not on the same level as you... you had the tendency to get a little too obsessed with certain things... but hey, at least they were supportive. Anyways, the whole thing made you even more excited for the release, which is why you were currently sweating out of your eyeballs trying to think of anything else that will calm you down.

“Oh god I really need to relax.” you said to yourself out loud, even though you were currently alone in your room because to your disdain, both your roommates had their respective uni classes that morning. Wondering if you should text the group chat anyway, not wanting to bother them, you made yourself some food, got a glass of water and sat down to eat before you started getting ready and decided to message your friends.

>text messages<

Y/N: GUYS... IM REALLY NERVOUS PLS HELP ME

Y/N: ignore this if you’re in class

Jay: Is this about the book that comes out later

Jay: Also we have like an hour break rn

Sunoo: oh my god get a LIFE

Y/N: WHAT THE FUCK SUNOO

Y/N: and yes my dearest and only friend jay... it is

Jay: It’s going to be fine don’t worry about it! You’ll get a copy

Sunoo: this is what having only two friends does to you

Y/N: STOPPP WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

Y/N: yk what i see how it is

Jay: Hey come on now you two

Jay: Let’s all love each other <3

Y/N: Sunoo you’ve just lost all your privileges and are now demoted to “some guy i live with”. from now on you may refer me to Miss Awesome-Sauce or M’lady

Sunoo: NEVER say awesome sauce again

Jay: You should’ve gone with pumpkin spice

Y/N: what?

Sunoo: and also what privileges lmaoooo

Sunoo: if its your weekly concerts then im not really at a loss am i

Y/N: im revoking your... “can i borrow the book” privilege :)

Y/N: *mic drop*

Jay: GASP

Jay: oh no she didn’t

Sunoo: ....

Sunoo: Listen...

Sunoo: My dear, lovely Y/N, my best friend, light of my life, the moon to my sun

Sunoo: the palm to my tree

Sunoo: the swimming to my pool

Jay: I have never heard anyone say those...

Sunoo: the lip to my stick

Jay: HELLO???”@#@$%

Y/N: I feel uncomfortable...

Sunoo: I have made a grave mistake and from now on I’ll think about my words and how they can affect people. I will take time off of social media to deeply reflect on myself.

Sunoo: *sends a selfie*

Sunoo: Me self-reflecting

Jay: NOT THE LEE MINHO REF

Y/N: omg who is this DIVA

Y/N: okay you’re forgiven but only because you’re cute

Sunoo: I know <3

>end of text messages<

You turned off your phone now that you’ve calmed down a bit due to you and your friends’ goofy antics. You looked at the clock and realized you had just over 3 hours to properly get ready, catch the bus to go to your nearest bookstore and be there at least 30 minutes before they stock up on the books. You haven’t done math this much since graduating high school. The next question was what to wear.... I mean it was kind of a special occasion, right? If you could say that. Man, maybe Sunoo was right, you did need to make more friends... Whatever! Now was not the time for that.

You got ready and got to the bus station 10 minutes early just in case. The ride there was calm with no incidents with you listening to your playlist with songs you loved lately. It was just before 10:30am when you arrived but when you got to the bookstore it was surprisingly... empty. Too empty. Something was wrong.

Never in your life have you seen the bookstore so free of life before, with a just a couple of customers roaming around. You looked around for the table with new releases and just as you saw it you noticed that, that too... was free of books... umm... okay so they might just have not taken them out yet, that must be it. You asked the bookseller at the cash register and she kindly informed you that the book was in fact, ahem... sold out.

Your jaw dropped. “There’s no way, you must have some copies left.” you had to make sure you understood right and that this wasn’t a case of miscommunication. “I’m so sorry, we had to open an hour early today and everyone just got here after that. It sold out in like 20 minutes.” the cashier spoke with a little smile, her eyebrows scrunched as if she was looking at a hurt puppy.

“Can you please check your stock again? Or if I can make an early order if you receive a new batch soon?” you tried the only thing you can think of. Luckily the lady was nice and let you leave your phone number, marked down your order and told you she’ll give you a call if they have a copy left or get new ones.

“Thank you so much!” oh dear, that wasn’t your plan in the slightest. It’s alright though! You weren’t going to lose hope but you still wanted to search the store just in case there was another copy on the loose, maybe it was hidden somewhere, misplaced, mixed up with the others, in another genre section, you get it.

Looking thoroughly on the shelves where it could be sorted by genre was to no avail, so the only option left was to roam around and quite possibly stumble upon it, I mean if it’s meant to be it will find you. Something about not chasing but attracting it instead. Yeah, that could work, delusion was the best motivator in this case.

You got to the “thriller” section just as you noticed a book on one of the shelves, well you saw the spine to be exact, with a similar color scheme to the one you were searching for and gasped. Okay Y/N, calm down, maybe it’s not that one, don’t get your hopes up too high now, was your initial thought, but as you got closer to it, the book became all the more familiar. Could this really be it? Huh, maybe you weren’t surrounded by misfortunes and the universe granted you a lucky break. It took everything in you not to scream out loud or jump around in excitement but instead you walked normally to the shelf, the second you grabbed the lower half of the book to pull it, another hand landed on the top half of it. Oh you must be joking right now...

You turned to the stranger who was trying to get between you and the most important thing in your life right now, a fictional world... still important nonetheless. It surprised you to see that the person next to you was probably the most handsome man you’ve ever laid your eyes upon. He looked like he was your age and was fairly taller than you, with jet black hair, dressed in casual clothes and a face that could launch fifty spaceships into the orbit. Okay you didn’t really know how to explain it but the point still stands. He had a few moles on his face, the prettiest eyes and eyebrows that seemed like they were drawn by a single stroke of an artists’ brush, which made him even more gorgeous. If that was possible.

“Hi there.” he spoke after a few seconds.

“Hello.” you replied confidently not wanting to back down even a bit because realistically, you knew what was about to go down. “Looks like we reached for the same book.” you added.

“Yeah, seems so.” he answered cockily both of your hands tightly holding the book, you could tell he was a stubborn one and it pissed you off, this was not going to be easy...

“Are you sure you aren’t lost? The self-help section is over by the entrance.” you tried to rile him up and pointed in the direction behind him but he didn’t even blink. Instead, he just turned fully in your direction, hand still firmly on the book.

“Nope. This is the book I was looking for.” you were expecting a snarky comeback that never came and instead he got closer, towering over you just enough for you to feel a teeny-tiny bit intimated. “This is the only copy left and I’m not leaving this store without it darling.” his voice was sweet and tender but his words weren’t. You narrowed your eyes at him.

“Your bogus charm won’t work on me.” as if you’d let a man deceive you with such cheap tricks. You sighed. “Alright, how about this. We both put the book on that table over there...” you pointed to the small seating area behind you, near the windows “...and then we have a calm, rational talk on who should have it, okay? What’s your name?”

The guy studied you for a bit, unsure on whether he should trust you or not. After a moment he released a long breath and let go of the book, you pulled it out of its place on the shelf, got over to the table and placed it down. “It’s Sunghoon by the way.” he said quietly.

“What?”

“My name. It’s Sunghoon.” he repeated.

“Oh.” pretty name, you thought. “I’m Y/N.” it was only fair to let him know yours too.

“So... how will we decide this?” he continued the conversation. You thought about it but nothing really came to mind. “Umm… maybe we could list of our reasons and whoever has a better reason wins?”

Sunghoon opened his mouth in an attempt to speak but you interrupted him instead. “I’ll start first,” you said without letting him have a word in, you did him dirty but this was not the time to play nice. Your life depended on it, or more like... a couple of hours of enjoyment.

“My reason is that I really like the series and want to read it.” you continued.

“Right. Well, I promised a dear friend of mine that I’ll get it for him because he couldn’t come.” damn him, that was an infinitely better reason, why did he have to be so selfless.

“How do I know you’re not lying? I mean at least I gave an honest reason.” you didn’t know why you just said that but in all honestly it was the only way you could’ve stalled this until, well... whatever you planned to do, but you had to think of something first.

“Are you kidding me?” you could tell he was getting more annoyed by the minute and you decided to push it further. God why were you like this.

“I mean… I just want to make sure we’re both being a hundred percent transparent with each other. Is there even a “friend” you’re helping?” oh yeah he definitely bought that.

“Oh, I see what you’re doing. Your reason sucked compared to mine so now you’re just trying to slither your way through an excuse. Well it’s not going to work, so you can stop with the air quotes.” Sunghoon was getting really tired of your shit and he sure as hell wasn’t gonna go down without a fight.

“Slither my way through? What does that even mean?! And my reason doesn’t suck. It's just as valid as yours but I'm making sure the copy is not going to waste and that your “friend" actually appreciates the story.” maybe it would’ve been a better idea to be more... civil, but something about him made you want to keep pushing his buttons and he was no better either so you didn’t really feel guilty.

“Hey! My best friend Niki, who is very much real, has been a fan of this series since the first book came out, so this copy is basically his birth right and there’s no way I’ll let some sea urchin have it!” Sunghoon was, let’s say a bit surprised at his own tone, he wasn’t the type of person to just have beef with random strangers over silly things, but I guess he was just feeling protective over Niki and wanted to win this for him.

“A... a sea urchin?! How dare you, you... potato peeler...” way to call someone names.

Sunghoon gasped as he clutched his chest.

“I’ve been a fan for a whole YEAR, your friends’ love for it has been on stand-by, okay? Mine is fresh in my memory and if I don’t read that book immediately, I’m going to explode.” You emphasized with your hands.

“Well gosh darn that’s just awful, what will the world do without a life ruining angry kitten like you.” he crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes.

“Oh real funny Mr. Probably wears coats all the time.” in your defense he did seem like a coat guy.

“Wow you got me... I’m so embarrassed, you carrot muffin.” yeah let’s go with that, he thought.

“What did you just call me?!”

“You heard me!”

“Screw you, pencil biter!” you were starting to get sick of this pointless “battle” so it was the best you could come up with.

“Bet you like plain pasta, don’t you?” he put his hands on his hips.

Sunghoon scoffed but then noticed the way your face sank at the last “insult”. There’s no way you actually got offended from that, is there? Maybe it was a touchy subject for you... dang it, how could he have been so stupid. What was going on with him today, this whole thing was so stupid, he didn't actually want to offend you... aaand great now he felt bad...

“Hey look, I’m sorry, I didn’t actually mean what I said, it’s just the first thing that popped into my mind. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you.” you were standing very still while awkwardly fiddling with your hands looking anywhere but at him and frankly, he didn’t know what else to do.

“It’s not like I always eat it plain, you know.” you spoke softly and sighed. “My friends make fun of me for it so it’s a bit of a touchy subject but...it’s just so good! If you make it right, cook it for long enough and then... leave a bit of the uhh... left-over pasta flavored water. It’s amazing.” you were scrambling for words which at this point made it 10 times weirder than it was.

Sunghoon nodded while listening intently. “I know, I know. Forget your friends, you eat pasta however you want to! Don’t let anyone tell you it’s wrong, okay? If you want to eat it plain then do that, who cares...” you still had your head down and after some internal debating and awkward back and forth hand movement, Sunghoon reached his hand and pat your head a few times with a soft “There, there. It’ll be okay.”

You feel like your eyes bulged out of the pop sockets from the shock of feeling his hand on your head. Was he... comforting you? Never mind the weird air around you both and the weight of his gaze on you, it was... warm and tender.

In Sunghoon’s case however, he didn’t know what he was saying nor why he just patted you head but at this point he would’ve done anything to stop you from sulking and bring back that insane fiery energy of yours from before and... wait a minute. Why was he thinking all this and why did he even care? Oh god he was going mad... he hadn’t thought any of this trough.

At that moment, you slowly raised your head and looked at him with a small smile on your face, thanked him and... okay he was definitely going insane because he just found you so cute, he felt like a butterfly gave birth to a million small butterflies in his stomach...or was it the gut? Either way, this was not good, he needed to get his head out of the clouds and remember what his objective was.

“Okay! Enough with the dilly-dallying!” you exclaimed, stopping his train of thought but the complete 180 change from arguing to whatever the other thing was to arguing again was going to give him a migraine.

“We need to settle this once and for all. And I’m afraid there’s only one way to do it...”

Sunghoon nodded. “A sword fight!” he declared.

You stopped for a second to scowl at him. “What? No. Where would we find swords, although I would love that, it always seemed really fun on tv. I was thinking more of like rock, paper, scissors?”

“Okay, yeah, that’s way more doable.” he straightened his posture and squeezed his hand into a fist “Let’s settle this once and for all.”

“Ready? Rock, paper, scissors, sho-”

“Excuse me?...” Before you were able to throw the hand signs, a lady came up to you. “May I ask if you need any help, is there a specific book you’re looking for? Maybe I can help you look for it?” she had a nametag on her shirt and you could make out a small ‘Louise’ so you figured she was one of the store sellers.

Sunghoon spoke first “Oh no ma’am. Thank you very much for offering, but we were just about to decide who gets to have this book...” He turned to show the book where they last left it on the table next to them, only to realize it wasn’t there. Both of their jaws dropped in disbelief.

“It’s... gone.” You looked up right at the register as another girl about their age was checking out, the same book she had in her hands just a few minutes ago... The girl turned away from the counter, now with the book in a tiny bag heading towards the exit. As she opened the door, she turned back to them and gave them a snarky smile and wriggled her fingers in a wave and exited the store.

“Oh, that little...” You were about to head in her direction but Sunghoon grabbed your shoulders and stopped you from doing something stupid.

“Alright~ Let’s calm down a bit. She already bought it, there’s nothing you can do. We should’ve paid more attention to our surroundings. It’s over let’s just leave it.”

“You’re right. How are you more clear-headed than me? It’s odd.”

“I have my strong points.” he flashed a grin in your direction and you froze for a second. Wow his smile was so... gorgeous. How can someone be this good looking... it wasn’t fair to anyone. You turned to the woman before she witnessed any more stupid shenanigans, thanked her and exited the store with Sunghoon following behind.

“Hey, can we both agree that this entire morning and everything that happened in there was genuinely insane and definitely not something we should be fighting over?” you said once you were both out on the sidewalk. The sun was peeking out through some clouds so it was still quite cold, the streets were busy with cars and people going on about their day.

“Yeah, I mean, it does seem quite silly now, doesn’t it?” he laughed, leaving a big goofy grin on his face. “I guess this means we’re friends now?” he added, looking at you with anticipation. Well that was new, you weren’t expecting that, especially not from him but hey, what the hell.

“I guess so.” you nodded, smiling back at him and extended your hand for a handshake which he gladly accepted and shook it with his own.

It got quiet and after a few seconds you asked “So... what do we do now?”

“Umm...” he answered which gave you the impression that he probably didn’t know either “If you want, we can go hangout at my apartment, it’s close by, maybe we can have some of that plain pasta. And don’t worry I have roommates and you can invite your friends over. Niki will be there because, one, I want you to know that he’s real” you rolled your eyes “and two, since he’s a big fan of the series you’ll probably get along well.”

NEVER go to a complete strangers house or invite one over, stay safe please <3

“Okay. Yeah sure, why not. I’ll call my friends we can go together once they get here.” you knew their class had already ended so you texted Sunoo and Jay to come to a nearby cafe since you made plans with Sunghoon to wait for them there and chat in the meantime until you headed to the original hang-out location.

When the four of you got there you got greeted by 3 of Sunghoon friends which you found out were Jungwon, Jake and Niki who, to your surprise ended up being very real and for the next 5 minutes you didn’t hear the end of it from Sunghoon, meaning you were bombarded with a bunch of attacks like “See? I told you he exists.” or “I can’t believe you’d think I’d lie about having friends, how low do you think of me?” to which your answers were either intense eye rolls or random outbursts of “Okay! I get it! Stop bothering me!”

Once you filled everyone in on your...disagreement and everything from the moment you and Sunghoon met that led to you becoming friends of some sort, which to be fair, was very silly everyone fell into a comfortable small talk, slowly getting to know each other.

Sunghoon was right about you getting along with the youngest, about whom you found out later on, that Niki was just a combination of his last and first name and his actual name was Riki. Your main topics of conversations being, of course, the hunger games but also the pain of not managing to get your hands on a copy of the newest book. Call that a tragic inconvenience bonding.

Jay and Sunoo seemed to be getting along well with the others considering that for the past 15 minutes Jungwon explained, in great detail, all about his time at the dora the explorer convention and then dragged off Sunoo into the kitchen to show him his favorite episodes of the show. Jay bonded with Sunghoon and Jake over all three of them being born in the same year, called it fate that they met and something about soulmatism or whatever... they ended up putting their birth times into an astrology calculator to see if they, in Jake’s words, “match each other's freak”.

As Niki stood up from the couch and into the kitchen with Sunoo and Jungwon, the space next to Y/N was free for just a few seconds before Sunghoon decided to take it up.

“So...I think everything is going well. Heesung said he’d be back soon, said he was on some side quest. Are you having fun?” he asked expectantly.

“Yeah, your friends are really cool, I really like them. And I’m glad the guys are getting along.” a high-pitched scream came from the kitchen the moment you said that, both your heads turning in the direction of the scream just in time to see Sunoo getting dragged by both Niki and Jungwon, followed by a bunch of cackles. You could see them trying to tickle Sunoo which forced him to get on the floor in an armadillo position, a surprised expression landing on your face.

“Will he be okay or should I intervene?” Sunghoon asked, voice drowned in concern.

“Oh don’t worry about Sunoo, he may not look like it but he can fend for himself if he wants to.” you said dismissively and Sunghoon mumbled an “alright then”, still a bit worried because he knew how his friends could be, but listened to you anyway.

“You know, I’m kind of glad all the books were sold out, otherwise we might’ve never met. I got to be honest, you’re completely insane but it’s been a while since I’ve gotten into an argument with a stranger over a banal reason. It was honestly refreshing.” Sunghoon’s rambling was honestly so cute you didn’t even mind he called you crazy, and by the way he said it so excitedly and joyfully, you were sure he meant that as a compliment, and you didn’t mind it.

“Aww, thanks. I think you’re pretty insane too, if it’s under any consolation.” the two of you fell into a bit of small talk, giggling and laughing over something the other one has said, getting along quite well, that is until Heeseung showed up.

“Guys! I’m back and you’ll never believe what I found.” the guy you guessed was Heeseung, based on the single blurry picture Jungwon showed you, burst into the apartment without a care that, what was once his home, was now a chaos playground full of adult children running around and screaming. “Look what I got at a discount in a random mini market.” both you and Sunghoon stared in disbelief, eyes bulged out and jaws down to the floor as Heeseung pulled out a brand-new copy of the hunger games book you spent the whole morning fighting over. “Oh no.” mumbled Sunoo once he noticed what was happening.

“It’s mine!” Sunghoon and you burst out simultaneously, turning to look at each other to once again continue your squabble from before your friends arc. The others now going over to Heeseung to see what the fuss was all about before collectively groaning in understanding.

“Do you think Sunghoon remembers he went to get the book for Niki and not himself?” asked Jake, crossing his arms.

“I didn’t know it was gonna cause this much drama or I would’ve just stayed silent.” Heeseung put the book back in his bag, now clearly worried about the damage he accidentally caused.

“Knowing Y/N, she will stop at nothing to win this, since she basically let him off the hook earlier.” Jay joined in.

“Umm,” Niki began a bit unsure of himself. “Does anyone wanna leave them at it and go get coffee or something?”

“Sure.” Sunoo said without a second thought.

“Oh! I know this cafe nearby that just opened up it’s really cute and has a bunch of delicious looking pastries, if you guys are up for it.” suggested Jake, already on his way to put on his shoes and went out on his own.

“Well I guess we’re going either way. Let’s go everyone, we’ll text them when we get there. I wonder how long it takes them to notice they’ve been abandoned.” Jungwon giggled sneakily pushing the others out the door and closed it, the faint sound of muffled voices still audible from the hallway slowly disappearing as the boys went on with their mission, leaving the two angry penguins to fend for themselves.

-the end- hope you enjoyed :)

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darkacademicvibes · 11 months ago

Text

We Think Similar Thoughts

Part three

Lonely!Fem!Reader x Lonely!Remus

"The fuck did you just ask her?"

You glance nervously at James, and James shakes his head, unsure how to help as Remus steps in front of you. Sirius continues to speak, "I swear to merlin, if you ever think about asking her out again before you pull your head out of your arse and stop using girls for your own personal amusement-" Remus places a hand on Sirius' shoulder and gently pulls him away, clearly angry. "Dont touch her, don't talk to her, or we'll find you, and we will make your life miserable" Remus threatens quietly. Peter wraps an arm around your shoulders and turns away, the other three boys following after you two.

Remus wraps his arm around your waist, tugging you subtly out from under Peters arm as James laughs, pulling Sirius into a headlock as they walk, which Sirius wrestles out of easily.

"Merlin Pads, I don't think I've ever seen you so defensive since I told you I might fancy Reg" James teases, and Sirius rolls his eyes, cringing, "that's my baby brother, Prongs, I'm still not over it" he quips.

"Thank you, Sirius, I know we aren't that close-" you begin, and Sirius waves off your words easily. "Don't be ridiculous, you were there for Remus. You also told me to get my head out of my arse, and managed to make me listen" Sirius jokes. "You're family now" he tells you, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. James, Peter, and Remus share a look, surprised by his sudden acceptance. "Besides, you remind me of Pete's little sister" he hums, and everything clicks into place.

You smile softly, "little sister?" You ask, and Peter pulls a picture out of his notebook, handing it over. It's a picture of him, clearly from this summer, with a young girl. She also has y/h/c hair and y/e/c eyes, but she still looks so unlike you. "She likes the rain as well, and we can never get her to put down her books, and she hates puzzles but never gives up once she's started" Peter informs you, clearly spotting the slight confusion on your face as you all walk.

You begin to understand, "I see, she's very cute, how old is she?" He grins, taking the photo back. "She's five tomorrow, I'm going to see her and my family at Hogsmeade" he tells you.

You talk of his family for a while more before the both of you are dragged into seperate conversations, Peter with James and Sirius, and you with Remus, mostly about your plans for the Christmas holidays coming up. You don't have any.

☕︎︎

You'd left Remus alone for two hours, an hour and forty minutes at most, and he managed to land himself, Lucius Malfoy, and Corey in the infirmary. You walk in, clearly fustrated, and make your way over to Remus.

"For merlins sake, Remus, I ask you to keep yourself out of trouble while I study for our N.E.W.Ts, and you end up in the hospital wing! What part of 'out of trouble' did you have difficulty understanding, exactly?" You scold, and Remus flashes you a guilty smile. "He was talking about you, they both were, I wasn't gonna let anyone talk about my friend like that" he admits softly, his uninjured arm reaching up to scratch under his eye lightly.

You sigh heavily, "This is the second time today we've been to the hospital wing" you state, still slightly annoyed. "Both times because of me, and I won't stand for it, I can take perfectly good care of myself, and I couldn't give less of a care about what mindless fools say about me" you tell Remus, crossing your arms as you sit beside him.

"Next time you end up here because you got into a fight before exams, I will continue studying, I hope you know that" you hum, and Remus laughs, tossing his uninjured arm around your shoulders. "I do, thanks for checking up on me, even if it was only to tell me off" he jokes. "But y'know what prongs says, 'only the great die young', right?" he teases quietly, and you roll your eyes playfully. "Yeah, yeah, did you win at least?" you joke, and he nods proudly. Dork.

You help him up gently and he follows you to the library after you both thank Pomfret, who sends a distracted smile to Remus as you leave, muttering out a hurried "no more fights, Remus" warningly under her breath.

☕︎︎

Mock exams, of course it has to be the day where you're busy with practice exams that Lilly Evans bumps into you, crying her eyes out. Thankfully, you both had the Charms exam next, it was a simple timed essay, with no talking, and no cheating - obviously - but when Flitwicke saw Lilly's tear-stained cheeks, he didnt say anything about the way you reached forward to hold lilys hand as she sat at the desk in front of you.

You could feel James' eyes on you both as he sends worried glances at the girl of his dreams, trying to catch your eye to ask silently about the pretty redhead.

The moment Flitwicke dismisses everyone, James is on his way over as Lilly speaks lowly to you.

"Thank you for being so kind, I know we aren't exactly close" Lilly mumbles, wiping her her face with her long sleeves as you dig through your bag, finally finding the face wipes you have and handing them to her gently. "No, of course, you're Remus' friend" you smile softly.

She takes the wipes greatfully as James stops at her side, his hands gently tipping up her head to make her face him, "what happened Lils? Is everything okay?" He murmurs softly, his hazel eyes searching over her for any sign of injury. Lilly hiccups, "my cat died" she sniffles, and sympathy strikes at you as your hands immediately wrap around her, hugging her lightly, your hand rubbing soothing circles on her back.

"I'm sorry, Lilly, I know how awful that is" you hum, and James relaxes, gently brushing Lilly's red hair back from her face as he gently takes the wipe from her hand, cleaning her tears without smudging her eye makeup. Regulus stops by, frowning softly as he takes in Lilly, "are you alright, Evans?" He asks quietly, and Lilly nods, repeating her heartache. Regulus' eyes fill with a soft sympathy and he nods slowly.

"Oh.. I'm sorry to hear that" he murmurs, smiling sadly at James and hesitating before nodding at you and continuing onwards. You watch him for a moment, the threes dynamic slowly fitting into place in your mind. Curiosity and slight amusement fill you as you wonder about how the next stages in their relationships will work out, if they'll end up together or not.

"Are you coming, y/n?" James hums, and it yanks you back to reality. You nod, hurrying after the two, wrapping your arm around Lillys shoulders as you walk, James' hand gently rubbing up and down her back as she sniffles softly, explaining her cat and how wonderful he was.

☕︎︎

You practically sprint to the room of requirement after dinner. Things have been rushing so quickly and the days seemed so much shorter, and you felt so thrown off.

I need a place where everything is slower.

The door appears and you make your way in, immediately heading right towards the very back of the huge room, a library, tearoom, music room, and living room all combined into one. The grand piano is tucked away between two of the large bookshelves, and a few small tables littered with kettles, and sugar, and cream, and cups with saucers are hidden few and far between the shelves as well. You reach the back of the room and fall onto one of the couches, a few chairs and couches all huddle around the large fireplace, the soft, antique, red persian rug laid across the floor, warmed by the fires heat.

You sit up and look towards the small rack in the corner of the room, mostly hidden away, with changes of clothes. You make your way towards it and look through the items, deciding to change from your uniform into comfortable leggings and a large sweater, kicking off your shoes before browsing the shelve of candles. One peculiar one catches your attention.

𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒎 𝑵𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔

𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆, 𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒃𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒐𝒐𝒅

You hum and gently take it from the shelf, lighting it before you slip a book from the shelf and settle into one of the armchairs, curling up by the fire as you allow the tension in your shoulders to slowly lessen, until you've practically melted into the chair.

You're halfway through the book and the candle when you hear the door open, a soft voice calling for you from the entrance. "Y/n? Are you in here?" James sounds exhausted, and a shuffle of footsteps make you lift your head, "back here, James" you call quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace as the sunset shines through the windows, the golden light highlighting the small dust specks in the air as the fire sends a darker light around the couches, warmth blooming through your bones as you stretch for the first time in hours.

Remus and James round the bookshelf and pause, "it's so weird seeing the sunset at one in the morning" James mumbles sleepily, wearing his pajamas. Remus gazes softly around the room. "It's nice" Remus murmurs, moving over to lean on the back of your armchair, gently slipping his fingers through your hair soothingly. "You're so tense" he hums and James watches Remus, clearly judging, "liar" James huffs, collapsing onto the couch and tugging a blanket over him.

"Classes are canceled, started storming, a few classrooms in the dungeons are flooded and there isn't enough room for the potions students anywhere else, not for them to study safely, said there was a ghoul in the abandoned corridor" James mutters, closing his eyes as he tosses his glasses onto the coffee table.

Remus gently combs his fingers through your hair, his thumbs gently slipping down the back of your neck. "You alright dove? You been hiding away since dinner, I was worried" he hums, and you nod, quietly admitting how things have seemed lately. Rushed, busy, and torn to bits, sometimes you felt unsure of what day it was.

By the time the sun sets in the room, Sirius and Peter have joined you, brining along Lilly who easily slips into a comfortable chair with her book, and a cup of tea.

The room is now lit by oil lamps like the ones in your grandparents home, and the letter Sirius said came for you when he dropped onto the floor by the fireplace is now beside james' glasses as he sleeps peacefully, occasionally sniffling in his sleep.

You finish your book, eyes filled with tears, and you meet Remus' eyes hesitantly. He moves smoothly, settling in beside you and allowing you to babble on about the book as you cry quietly, Lilly, the person who recommended it to you, sends you an apologetic smile as you flip her off half-heartedly.

You easily relax against Remus' chest, and something feels hauntingly familiar.

He smells like chocolate, and cranberries, and sandalwood. He smells exactly like the candle that had made you relax the most as you did what all candle lovers do; sniff them until you find one that provides you with the perfect type of calm you want.

You were sure, if the room of requirement could talk, it would be cackling at the way your stomach dropped at the realization. You're starting to feel things a friend shouldn't feel for a friend, and the thought of losing Remus makes you curl closer to him, which doesn't help your racing heart.

There's no winning, you suppose. But at least you can see the stars, and at least you aren't quite so lonely anymore.

#marauders #james being james #marauder x reader #remus lupin x reader #sirius black #lily evans #sleepy james potter #sorry its so late #thank you #hope you enjoy #Spotify

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dearweirdme · 1 month ago

Note

"If he could, I think he’d be out tomorrow."

I think this is a dangerous mindset. He can be out (maybe right now would be too dangerous because of military service, but let'sconsider after that), but I dont think he wants to deal with the consequences of it. And I'm not saying that they would be easy to deal with. It would probably end his career as an idol which is very unfair.

My point is that, is very damaging when people feel they have no way out of a situation them are unhappy about. If he really wants it, I hope he knows that he can leave everything and have a more normal life. It will probably be very hard in the first year or so, but after that it will be old news. He already have money enough to not work for the rest of his life and he should prioritize his well being.

I actually hope that they all know that, for whatever reason, if they want to leave all of it behind, they should.

Hi anon!

Technically, I agree with you… but there’s a but…

I always feel like there’s not really a choice when it comes to being closeted. It’s always a result of pressure by society. It’s always a case of someone’s surroundings not feeling safe.. though there are varying degrees of safety at play. A fair choice doesn’t entail pressure like that.

There’s more to a person than their sexuality. Our lives evolve around our careers, our relationships with friends and family, our hobbies, all sorts of things. Right now, I think Tae balances that. I think he’s able to be out to a close group of people, he’s able to have a huge career, he can travel and do all sorts of things he loves. To Tae his career also matters a lot. Were he to choose to be out, he would possibly/probably not have that career any longer. You talk about things being hard for a year or so.. but there are literally examples of SK celebs coming out and never working again.. or only starting to work again after a long time. That would be terrible to Tae. It would probably end a whole lot of dreams he has for his future. That would make him unhappy too. Coming out might bring him relief in some ways, but it will not take him out of an unhealthy environment and it will bring him other things to worry about. It’s not a question of choosing one or the other, I think at the moment it’s more about trying to keep a balance in order for him to be able to have as much as he can.

I think he does know he can leave it all behind. I suspect he (and others) have probably thought about taking that option many times, for many different reasons. I don’t think the money matters. Not having to work anymore might seem interesting and comfortable, but to someone with high ambitions I don’t think it’s the source of comfort you think it is. Tae wants to work, he wants to make music and perform.. he’s worked crazy hard to get where he is. So no, I don’t really think it’s a question of making a choice for his wellbeing.. because no matter what he chooses his wellbeing will not be optimal in any case.

#tae

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tpwkwriter · 2 years ago

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hiii so i have a request! Could you do one like still in harry's 1d days. So like y/n is louis sister and she has been friends with the band since the beginning and harry has been in love with her since he first laid eyes on her and all that. But he never told her because she always had a bf but those bfs would never treat her right like always ignoring her and flirting with other girls so harry kept this like journal where he wrote how in love he is with y/n and how he would treat her right, how he know everything about her all the little things and how no one could love her as much as he does. So then one day like during prince hair harry her and harry are sharing a hotel room with seperate beds (ofc haha, but because they have always been best friends) and y/n finds this journal and like reads all the things he has written and then she goes to him and is like "well, if i didnt know any better i would say mr styles has a crush on me" and he gets all nervous and says that it isnt just a crush and he is in love and that and then he asks "will you be my girlfriend. I cant' go another day of not kissing you, hugging you, touching you I cant stand you not being mine" and y/n finds it very sweet but she is very insecure and kind of rejects him in a nice way because she feel they will critisise her because they expect harry to be w a model and gorgeous girl and harry is tells her how beautiful she is and how he feel in love the moment they met and how it didnt matter what the world thought because no one can love her like he can and he know eveything about her so he asks again "will you let me be your boyfriend" and she finally agrees and then he holds her close and protectively and then y/n starts tearing up and says sorry because she was being silly and he says "dont be. Its not silly, baby. I'll be her to wipe every tear and to comfort you. Your heart is safe here, you are safe with me, my love" and then how they spend the first night together because well they share a hotel room and then the morning after harry saying how happy he is and how he has always dreamed about it and then they meet with the boys and tell em the news and they are all very happy and are like "about time" and yeah hope you understand it thank you again so much it would be great i feel its so cute! <3

Does he know?

OMGOMG THANK YOU FOR THISS!! the detail you put in and the image it painted in my head AHHH❤️

I’m so sorry this has taken so long!! I really wanted this to be perfect!! 🌷 but thank you for your patience It means the world x

Warnings: jealousy, mentions of toxic relationships, cussing, smutty themes if you squint, pent up emotions.

— — — — — — —

— early 2013 —

Harry’s fingers held a ballpoint pen between his fingers, the lined paper sat empty on the table adjacent to him.

There new album ‘midnight memories’ was due mid November of this year, he loved his job but these deadlines took the piss.

‘Fuck’ he whispered to himself, he didn’t realise the clock had gone over midnight.

The shared tourbus was at a halt for the night the rest of the four boys remained in there bunk and no one heard a peep from them through the rest of the night.

“Y’alright H?” Y/n said Peeling the curtain that separated the bunks to the lounging area of the bus, and pulling it back behind her.

“Sorry y/n, did i wake you?” He quietly asked, dropping his pen instantly.

He would be lying if he said he didn’t have a crush on y/n, she was also the youngest of the Tomlinson family so her and Harry grew up together at the same time and age, hitting each milestone and big birthdays together.

“No, no not at all” she waved, sitting on the sofa next to his.

“What y’doing awake still?” She asked, taking a sip of her water.

“Tryna get song ideas, getting absolutely nowhere” he said, crossing his arms back and leaning back on the cushions.

“What are you doing awake? He smirked.

“Can’t sleep, excited for tomorrow” she smiles.

“Haven’t seen you all on stage for a while” she added.

They sat and spoke for awhile, what y/n was oblivious of is how many ideas he was racking up watching her.

She reached her arm out to grab her water bottle, her wrist was exposed from her hoodie sleeve for a second, what Harry didn’t expect was to see an inky drawing.

“Is that a tattoo?” He asked.

“Oh this?” She askers pulling her hoodie up her arm.

“Yeah, me and Louis got matching a few days ago, a random spontaneous idea that popped into our heads” she laughed repressing the day her and her older brother got matching ‘28’ tats.

“It’s funny because ben, hasn’t even noticed it, and it’s like our 4th month together” y/n mentioned, a slight frown forming on her face.

Harry’s heart teared a tiny bit, she was still with this ‘Ben’ it was clear none of the boys got on with him, he wasn’t the bestest of boyfriend.

“Really?” He asked, eyes widening.

“Mmhmm, don’t know what to do about this whole Situation-ship thing”

“Well, do you love him?” He asked, fiddling with the hem of his band tee.

“I can’t say I do Harry” she sighed, “but there’s a part of me that feels bad” she added.

“Don’t feel bad, if it’s not meant to be, s’not meant to be”

All y/n wanted to do was scream out her attraction to him, something clicked in, the soft and gentle words he spoke, the way he still looked good at 1am after a busy day, the way he made a band tee look like piece of designer. Y/n wasn’t sure what happened.

Y/n soon enough found herself back in her bunk, trying to push down her sudden butterflies, hoping it’s just a 1am sleepy thought, the last thing she wants is to thirst over her brothers best friend.

When y/n and Harry exchanged there goodnights, he instantly got back to his paper.

‘Does he know’ he whispered.

‘Does he know’ he repeated.

‘Your secret tattoos?” He asked himself.

He instantly jotted these phrases to himself.

Harry tried to think to himself of the little things you do.

Maybe you could be his muse this time around?

—

It was 8:45am the next day the bus was off again at 5pm so for now they could relax.

Y/n believed she was alone on the bus, she thought the boys were out doing the coffee run, she thought wrong.

“But she doesn’t know who I am, and she doesn’t give a damn about me” she sang whole continuing to organise her suitcase on her bunk.

As the beats of ‘teenage dirtbag’ continue, she moves her body to beat and sing.

“Cause I’m just a teenage dirtbag baaby” she sung.

“Y/n you may be a Tomlinson doesn’t mean you can sing like one though” he interrupted, almost kicking the tourbus door open and walking over to her bunk with her Starbucks in hand.

“Heeeey, I’m a lovely singer, it should be me selling out O2” she said with pride.

“She got you there tommo” Niall piped in walking in.

“See” she giggled.

“Thank you for this lou” she dragged taking a sip of her iced coffee.

“No problemo, me and and the lads are heading to the studio in a bit y’ can come if you want?” Louis offered sitting on his bunk opposite to y/n’s.

“Yeah will do” she answered.

At this point all boys were back on the bus enjoying some quality time together, but all Harry could think of was the remaining lyrics.

‘The songs that you sing when your all alone?’ He thought to himself, that’s a keeper.

——beginning of where we are 2014——

In past year y/n and Harry had become closer than ever, it’s was a night at the MSG, the boys opted on a hotel instead of the bus, to Louis’ dismay y/n and Harry were up for sharing a hotel.

“Neither of you better be doing anything” Louis called the opposite of the hotel door.

“Fuck sake lou, you can come in” she laughed, laying her head back on the hotel bed frame.

The door clicks open to see a wet head louis, who was still clad in his joggers and ‘the who’ tee.

“You nearly ready Harry!” He called, pulling his phone out and glancing the time.

“Yeah man” he said emerging from the bathroom.

“Have fun tonight guys” she called out as they both met each other at the door. “I’ll be sure to watch some shitty livestream of you all prancing about on stage” she laughed.

“Thanks love” Louis said rolling his eyes.

“See you y/n don’t get too lonely without us” Harry smirked flashing her a wink while adjusting his head scarf which kept his unruly curls at bay.

“Bye boys” she called as they slowly walked off and headed to the arena.

They had been gone about an hour and y/n knew they wouldn’t be back till maybe after midnight.

She decided to set down and get ready to stay in her bed and have a relaxed night.

When unpacking her bags and digging to find her favourite pyjamas she was sure she packed. A large ‘thump’ was heard the other side of the room.

“Shit” she jumped.

A relieved smile, when it was something falling out of Harry’s suitcase.

She turned her head and spotted a brown, leather notebook that was lying on the carpet by his bags.

Once y/n had picked out her pjs for the evening, she walked over to the bed she picked out in the hotel room.

She placed them down by her pillows and was about to reach out for her phone by the charging port until something about this note book, caught her eye, ‘one and only’ was scribed into the leather with black ink.

She knows she shouldn’t, she knows that not hers, that’s Harry’s, that’s his property not y/n’s but there was something pulling her in a feeling she couldn’t push down.

A shaky breath left her mouth as her fingers reached out towards the book in front of her.

She peeled back the smooth cover:

23rd of February 2013

Ben doesn’t know how lucky he is, such a smart, beautiful, caring woman, how could he take her for granted??.

Y/n’a heart was running a Marathon.

“No” she said louder than she anticipated.

She flicked to the next page:

28th February 2013

‘All of us were at the studio this evening I couldn’t stop staring at y/n, I feel terrible knowing it’s my best friends sister, but she is wonderful’

Her mind was now matching her palpitating heart, a million thoughts were being processed at that moment.

He really thought the same the whole time?

She quickly flicked another.

3rd of March 2013

Write a couple of songs for midnight memories is it bad to say there all inspired by one person.

If she was mine she wouldn’t be ignored or treated terribly, I hope Louis talks to her about this Ben.

Y/n did agree with this statement getting rid of Ben was the best thing she’s done.

But she didn’t know Harry was the one with a crush.

She couldn’t believe her eyes, he really felt the same? He really did like her? She was almost hyperventilating.

10th of March 2013

I’ve noticed when y/n gets anxious she plays with the ends of her hair, I wish I could just scoop her into my arms and tell her it’s going to be okay.

Ben is finally out the picture, hopefully she can be with someone who knows her self worth.

Her heart is beaming, butterflies fill each side of her tummy, her mind still feeling a little delusional and still very much in disbelief.

Maybe this was her sign to take there friendship another level up.

She slammed the cover over the paper and decided if she’d read anymore she’d become a crimson red mess.

She gently tucked it into the suitcase of where it fell and tried to go on as normal.

She decided to wait up for Harry and see what she could do about this, she couldn’t hide this any longer she wish she knew sooner about his little crush.

It was just past midnight and she heard the hotel room key click in approval.

A tired looking Harry appears.

“Y’alright” she quietly asked.

“Mmm” he hummed shutting the door behind him.

Y/n move to one side of her bed, and patted the empty space beside her, inviting him to join.

Wether it was just his sleepy mind, but he took no time and accepted her invitation.

Y/n let him adjust to the light, and get comfortable not wanting to overload him already.

“Y’okay” he asked, noticing her thinking face.

“Yeah” she smiled.

“Well if I didn’t know any better, than I think that you mr styles have a teeny crush” she said, a breathy laugh leaving her mouth.

His eyes widened, now it it was his time to go red.

“Wha-“ he nervously laughed.

“I guess y’right” he said looking straight ahead at the blank wall.

“Y/n, m’gonna be honest”

“I’m in love with you”

Y/n’s heart pounded inside her chest, this is real? This was real life, he admitted.

“Harry” she blushed.

“And I know, it’s probably weird, we’ve been friends for 4 years now and on a random night , I’m now saying this but, seeing you keep hurting yourself on these boys that don’t understand you, it hurts”

“Harry-“ her cheeks becoming a strawberry colour.

“Be my girlfriend?” Harry blurted.

Y/n’s ears almost burned at the question, Someone she actually had interest in liked her back? And wanted to be with her? She felt like. Lovesick teenager again.

She wanted this, more than ever.

But Louis.

Realistically there was nothing wrong with it, they were the same age, and both wanted it.

“I can’t stand another day, not touching you, not hugging you, not wiping your tears away” he added, which caused y/n’s thought process to halt.

“Harry, y’too good for me” she started, a glossy layer had formed over her eyes.

“Y’need someone better, your options are so big” she said head almost dropping to her lap.

“Hey” he said taking using his index finger and thumb to guide her chin up.

“What I’ve learnt is your the one I want, haven’t been able to settle because of you y/n”

“Be mine?” He asked once again leaning his forehead on hers using his free hand to wipe the tears away.

“Please” he whispered, this is all he’s wanted.

Worried that her words would fail her at that moment all she could do was frantically nod.

“Yeah?” He smiles, there noses basically touching at this point.

“Words baby, need y’words” he reminded.

“Yeah, yes harry yes” she smiled, tears still manage to cascade her cheeks.

“Thank fuck” he breathed, now hesitating to wrap his arm around the girl, oh how he’s longed to do that.

The girl crashes into his touch, not taking her time either.

“Your okay, y’safe in my arms love” he whispered into her hair, pressing his long awaited kisses.

— the following morning —

Both Harry and y/n were getting ready to meet the rest of the lads on the bus, which was round the back of the hotel.

“How are we gonna tell them?” Harry asked getting the rest of his stuff.

“They’ll understand, Louis will be unsure but he’s my brother he can’t hate me forever” she laughed.

She pressed a kiss to his cheek, and they made there way to the boys.

“Guys we have something to tell you all” y/n began.

— — — — —

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #my fic writing #harry styles au #request #Harry styles requests #harry styles x y/n #harry styles blurb #one direction #fluff #tpwkwriter #harry tpwk #my writing #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles x reader #HS #on direction 2013 #lhh

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daeagon · 19 days ago

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My Reactions to ep 9 of TDofJ

MAJOR SPOILERS!! fyi this is an actually image of me while watching this show, this and me crying

this is very long so fair warning!

I also watched some of this with my IRL friend, so I’ll add their reactions!

THE BOAR SCNEE! You don’t know how excited I was to see this since it’s in the opening credits, and they just have it in the first 2 seconds! I THOUGUT THIS WOULD BE A HUGE CHANCE SCENE!! Nope

Oh she angy

I also love J’s little head tilt thing, it’s so smooth!

I LOVE HER and this line is so fucking funny! (Don’t think about how I could connect this to Bianca’s character and actions in the show)

THE PARALLELS THE PARALLELS! they speak to me!

the way this connects to J and Nuria’s hug/J crying but it’s the opposite, B is crying and doesn’t get a hug, however her partner knows about her job!

I don’t have any photos but during J going home and speaking to his kid my IRL was yelling at him to stop speaking Spanish, I was going OH SHIT.

also my IRL thinks Nuria is very hot and she can do better

When Nuria was confronting J and saying is this real when pointing to her ring: DAMN

basically that whole bit was me and my friend being in shock and reacting to it and saying Nuria was hot!It was very fun and surprising

HE FUCKING SNAPPED OH MY GOLLY! I LOVE THIS TROPE YEESSSSSSSSSSS

my IRL was also wondering why J was just standing there, he really hit the 🧍‍♂️

THIS FUCKING SHOT! HOLY SHIT

this looks like a painting! I don’t know which one but this should be in a museum! THE LIVHTING!! (I feel like someone should look into potential Biblical references or connections in this show, bc Nuria is in paradise and that falls apart because of her curiosity, I’m sure there’s more this is just surface level)

when Nuria walked away my IRL repeated that and said as she should

WHAT IS GOING ON WIRH THE BROTHET OH NO! I think he’s in something deep

oh wait, this could be a setup/trap

WAIT NOOOO!

AND WHAT YOU WANT ME TO BE GREATFUL FOR THAT?! F off! I USED TO LIKE YOU!

the way I need him to do this to me, and tell me everything is ok

but I know your fixing your marriage and that’s great but you have a man to unalive

I LOVE UDC!!! ‘Super rish people have to give up private jets so young people can have a future’ PREACH! PLEASE COME TO THIS WORLD PLEASE!! 🙏 This world really needs someone like UCD and River

YESSSSS QUEEN! If UDC has no fans I am dead (pun not intended)

but River launches tomorrow, that’s not a lot of time. I think UDC will die but River will still launch and the world will go into chaos

also very interesting timing of this show with recent events in NY, completely random thought

that’s the UK’s foreign secretary guy

’so where is the Jackal?’ Mans getting a boat, love him for that (to get to the island???)

I think I might be going to Spain at some point late next year, im actually so excited!

WHAT THE FUCK!! HELLO?!

WHAT?! It wasent the Jackal, was it? I DONT KNOW

Bianca’s so real for that

None is having a good time, J is mourning Norman, B is mourning her family even though they’re not dead

This song feels like a set up for the season finale, but there’s still time left in the ep

NOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT THE REGRET FOR SNAPPING AT YOUR WIFE NOOOO

OH SHIT! B is going to Spain oh god

Ah shit, here we go again

Very pretty bird!

They are knows for their ability to mimic the songs of other birds, sometimes kept as a cage bird 👀, that could connect to J’s username on the dark web, someone posted an analysis about that

The fit is giving Sherlock Holmes/deer hunter

also side note the fits in this show 👌, I need them!

bird call in distance

I might be a sleeper agent for anything bird related

I really should expect everyone J interacts with will be killed but wow, knife in the sock

I thought for a sec J would dive/swim to the island, glad he’s not doing thst

That’s a crazy set up wow! I mean it’s to account for the shaking of the boat so it makes sense

Jackal is so homophobic, you killed Rasmus your going to kill UDC who hurt you?

OH NO! Ullie’s partner is convinced him to swim and he’s going to die and he’s going to have so much guilt nooooooo

oh no there’s a drone!

and that dead guy is still just sitting there, sure

He shot the guy on a jet ski, he’s going to shoot the drone, is he going to do this with one bullet?!?

I’ve been so invested and mesmerized, the mucus it’s so tense!!! I’m scared

What did he do to the drone?! Huh

HE HIT THE WRONT MAN!!

THE COUNTDOWN IS SO TENSE

I am on the edge of my seat

OH SHIT!!

THERE YOU ARE ARE YOU INSANE

omg, I am actually in shock this show, I don’t think I was breahting

your just going to sail away!

NO THE PARTNER NOO IM SO SORRY

THE MUSIC! principle down!

IM GETTING MY CHSCE SCENE! YESSSSSSSSS

THE SHOT COMPOSITION IN THIS SHOW IS ACTUSLLY INSANE!!

I’m shaking

they just cut it there

god I have to wait a week

what did I just watch

a masterpiece that’s what

I need a week to process that actuslly

This show, I don’t have the words for how good it is, this is some of the best TV I’ve watched in a while

Welp until next week 😭

#the day of the jackal #day of the jackal #the day of the jackal 2024 #the day of the jackal show #Reactions #I LOVE THIS SHOW #you don’t understand #it has consumed me!#This show is an experience #AHHHHH #THE SEASON FINALY IS NEXT WEEK I AM NOT READY!#Also that means the show will be over 😭#Until season 2 🙏#Oh my god #im in shock

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tankgotstuckinthecircusgate · 19 days ago

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girls sorry that almost everything i write bout m2 is either gloomy either cruel (or sometimes unrealistically happy) & u write like ahh tragedy

bc i dont know fr the last time i was happy ig were a brief periods in 2018 & 2021 that ended quickly and after that all these periods of energy & joy were through gritted teeth actually and yk i asked my friend do you think how we're feeling rn can be called depression n she answers fkin of course bc i cant even treat this as depression like to me it's just acceptance that yes every day you feel such an unbearble pain and agony but like. this is just the way life's turning out. genuinely not funny at all. i feel like everything around me slowly dies and ofc you can't help but wonder "when it'll be my turn?" not in a way you wanna die (tho this sometimes too) but like that this is something inevitable. i don't drink but i smoke and ik that it fucked up my health i've been smoking 3 yrs now and i sometimes wonder when the most awful consequenses will show up but i can't quit bc literally what else i can do. and your eyes hurt from witnessing this life my eyes water constantly bc life hurts so much. bc you don't have the chance to have a life you're literally just surviving and it's such a big achievement that you're simply alive & dont kys. before i had some hopes for the future but now i understand that it's better not to have any - bc this hope just hurts even more. it's not only bout the war & goverment etc but mundane simple life as well bc so much things are out of your control. and the ones that is under - god you have no strength. yes genuinely this isn't funny at all. i learn to enjoy simple things in this life. seeing my friend almost daily brings me so much joy. this is such a big happiness to me. and seeing my other friends or just ppl that are dear to me. it's a big thing. art is also the other thing that is left that makes this life bearable tho i know since the 2nd part of 2023 i started to work in the drawer again. i have no strength to do otherwise honestly. call this pathetic but genuinely you'll be so wrong for calling this pathetic. tho sometimes i do feel this. yk yesterday i saw some of my classmates and i see that they can afford some bigger things like travelling and the only thing i can afford is a metro card. and yes you feel pathetic for this. genuinely i do such a big work for going out from the shell and seeing not only my closest friend. bc this hurts and i can't blame mslf for this anymore. the things i despise mslf for is the bursts of inner agression but thank god for my meds and self-control so i show this less that i've could & sorry if my agression somehow shows i try my best genuinely. anyway bout life. yes witnessing this hurts bc you feel like you're already dead. you wanna smile faintly and laugh quietly at urslf. sometimes it feels like this frame from filth when he looks at the camera w a wicked smile and watering eyes and then hangs himself. yes this is the most exact depiction (sometimes it feels more like nina's look from one of the final scenes where she gives up on everything and returns to her sick mother. she has no choice. same thing for me). but just for the record i've never watched filth so this is just my personal interpretation of that scene. maybe thank god that it doesn't feel like that look from tennenbaum family where he looks in the mirror and says "i'm gonna kill mslf tomorrow". ik that i'll stay here as long as i'm supposed to. tho yesterday i felt that completely delulu thing (i perfectly understand that this is a delusion) that maybe if i'd kms it'd be easier for everyone bc i feel like a very heavy person rn. i can't talk about good things (well i can actually! i do talk about it. i sometimes stay positive and not neutral) and yk my grandfather killed himself. my grandma once said to me that she felt relieved after he did. i though the same bout mslf yesterday (i felt this pretty often after she said this to me, it was in 2021) bc i know i know that probly he and me are much alike alas. idk fr idk

#tw suicide mention #yeah sometimes it wanna make me laugh how many things trigger pain in me lately. a bit of ridiculous. why ppl are like this?#we're a funny creatures #sorry yesterday i felt like this bc this was a big huge combo of such things #bout agression i need to confess that so often i feel like in a “prelude” from “preludes”:#And I'd pound on the wall; And yell “Stop! Stop! Stop!”#And I'm sure he thought I was some asshole; Who doesn't like music #genuinely this song is so real. esp for 2023:#'That now whenever I go to a party. And see a piano in the room; I tense up; Just waiting for it—'#'What if that was the one best thing that I'll ever do; And I spend the rest of my life; Just getting worse" <-#genuinely yeah. it was a self-fulfilling prophecy

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finnyphcntom · 4 months ago

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notorious.

--------

Chapter One : The Word Hate

--------

Did he over exaggerate? Yes. But something inside of him just.. felt weird when Dandelion was shamed upon. Geralt wasn't that bad of a dude, especially to Dandelion.

Lambert hated to say- yes, hated, that word again. He hated that he actually enjoyed Dandelion's presence.

--------

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : oh but id lovee to convince you. maybe we can get a lil tipsy and ill go home with you, yeah handsome? ;)'

--------

Lambert was... notoriously known, for many things. What things? Well, the list is long, but here is the simplified version;

Being a bitch.

And then there was... well, thats about it.

He hated, hated, just about... Well, all? Of Geralts friends. Eskel would always say, "hate is such a strong word,"

Well no shit. He knew that, used it for a reason.

Speaking of hate, he hates when they hang out.

He was rather tired of everyone hanging out without inviting him. Yeah, he'd decline with a 'fuck no' or 'i hate triss lol' but, hell, he still wants at least an invite.

But no one bothered to invite him anymore.

They act like he doesnt know, isnt aware, of these events. Hes heard them talk, all because hes 'too angsty.'

Be real. If they had an Aiden, and then said Aiden died, theyd he angsty too.

Which, he will say, Geralt does have his Aiden.

Dandelion.

Lambert hated to say- yes, hated, that word again. He hated that he actually enjoyed Dandelion's presence.

And do you know what he hates even more?

That hes jealous.

He hates that he's jealous, and hates that he doesnt know what over.

Over Geralt? Maybe.

Over Dandelion? Maybe.

The fact that Dandelion gets invited to hangouts? Maybe.

Oooor the fact that Geralt, who treats Dandelion like shit, gets to keep his best friend. And he doesnt. Bingo, baby.

Well, okay, maybe it was a mix of all four.

But no, he heard of this party that was happening at Yennefer's house. How could he not? Kiera informed him alllll about it.

And another thing he was known for; not only being a bitch, but a petty one at that.

He was going to show up at that damn party.

~~~~~~

Lambert expected many things in his day. To fold clothes, deal with shitty customers, fold clothes again, to fix registers because somehow no one else knew how to do that, and then to again, you guessed it, fold clothes. Oh, and deal with shitty customers.

And then, he would go home around 3pm, just to clean horse shit and feed the goats on the farm. Only sometimes would he find holes in his perfectly good jeans.

But what he didnt expect? His phone to light up with a text. Ever since losing his girlfriend, he hasnt had a single text, other than from Eskel.

Eskel was a family man. Soft, sympathetic. He thinks he would have a little bit more trouble lying and hiding stuff behind his back. He thinks any of these people who are hosting these parties, throwing the- his phone dings again.

Oh, right. He was so used to a lonely phone that he forgot it went off.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : hey lambert, i know we dont really talk but what time is that party tomorrow? ive got a performance that day and want to arrange an uber ^-^'

Holy fucking shit? It had to be Dandelion. No one else in the group was talented enough with music to perform it.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : also!! how come u never go? :('

That was the second message.

Did Dandelion not know?

What does he do? He hated to say that his heart was racing. Why was his heart racing? It was just Dandelion. Just a rising celebrity with like seven degrees- from Oxenfurt no less- and his brothers best friend.

His heart was fucking racing. Does he be cool? Does he be mysterious? Should he even answer?

No, no he had to answer.

The few times hes talked to Dandelion have been.. amazing, actually. Of course, Dandelion had an issue with talking to strangers, and also, well, sleeping with strangers, but that was fine. Lambert felt like Dandelion enjoyed talking to, well...

Lambert.

Not Geralts brother, not a bitch (which he will admit he is,) not a depressed, angsty man who practically lives in his room at the farm he grew up on. Which he was.

His phone dings again. Shit.

Lambert grabs his phone off of his car mount this time, sitting in the parking lot of his shitty retail job at Cavill's Combat.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : oh shit my bad i probably shouldve clarified. this is dandelion im sorry'

Be chill Lambert.

'lambert : heyy yeah no youre good lol'

The multiple y's were cool? Right? Showed he was calm. One Y was boring, three was excessive. Right?

'lambert : as for the party, i have no clue thats a geralt question.'

He decides not to answer the second question. For now.

He puts his phone back on the mount and his car in drive, pretending like he didn't flinch at the sound of the bluetooth connecting.

His phone dings again, and he cant answer, but he does peak at the message.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : well i wou .. geral ... mad ... ignoring me ...'

That was all he could see for now. Quit frankly, that was all he needed to see.

Did Geralt ignore Dandelion whenever he was mad?

My brain was shut off upon hearing the first Hollywood Undead song start.

~~~~~

When I arrived home, I was bombarded with questions. Eskel was that type of man.

"How was your day at work?" He said from the kitchen, where Lambert was trying to sneak on by.

"Long." Lambert said. "Henry wasnt there."

His boss. Whenever Henry was gone, Lambert had to pick up all the shit- as an assistant store manager.

"Didnt have to fix anything today though, right?" Eskel said.

What a fake fucking bitch, Lambert thought.

"So... do you want me to fix you something to eat?"

He heard it, but didnt register it.

Being the odd one out was quite the funny thing. He lost his best, childhood friend of 14 years in his sophomore year of college to suicide.

He drops out of said college. Decides to start therapy; ends up getting sent to a psych ward.

And now hes working at some shitty fucking retail job; and still working at his adoptive fathers farm.

Yeah, life was fucking great. A ball of fucking sunshine.

Eskel was a doctor. Geralt was a successful Butcher, working under their adoptive father.

And he was a depressed man with a shitty retail job.

"Hello? Lambert?"

Without thinking, Lambert grabs the nearest item which just so happened to be a decorative vase, squeezing it tightly...

"How are things since you ended it with Kiera?"

and throws it.

Right at Eskel.

He's rather lucky it misses. Shatters all over the ground instead of on Eskel's mass.

"You're fake. Did you know that? You're a liar. You're a fraud. Stop with the fake fucking persona that you care about me."

And with that, he has no choice to storm away.

~~~~~

In his room, hes able to check his phone again. The text from Dandelion was sitting there, menacingly.

'lambert : does geralt always ignore u when hes mad at u?'

With how busy Dandelion was, you werent expecting an immediate response.

But you get one.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : typixally he tellsme to fuck off and rhats how i know hes mas at me'

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : u should go :( ive never seen u there, i know u dont like me'

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : but i got a few tricks up my sleeve to convince u too ;)'

It takes Lambert a bit to decipher Dandelions absolutely awful typing. For a man with an english degree, he is sure as hell bad at English.

Lambert kept reading the, 'i know u dont like me.'

Who the fuck told Dandelion that? Because Lambert has never, not once, discussed any sort of dislike for Dandelion.

If anything, Lambert actively defends his name. He remembers all the times Geralt spoke about ignoring Dandelion, called Dandelion annoying.

Lambert would always stick up for him.

Were there any good reasons why? He had a bunch, personally.

One, and the biggest reason, was that Lambert would kill in cold blood to be able to talk to his best friend again.

Two, is that Dandelion was a good person with good morals. And incredible talent. Dandelion deserved love and praise, not hate from his closest friend.

Three, he was oddly drawn to Dandelion. He didn't know why.

Did he over exaggerate? Yes. But something inside of him just.. felt weird when Dandelion was shamed upon. Geralt wasn't that bad of a dude, especially to Dandelion.

But it's common decency not to talk shit about your best friend when the person you're talking to lost theirs to suicide.

Kind of inconsiderate, Geralt.

'lambert : lol who told you that? i like you'

He suspects it was Triss. Maybe Yennefer had assumed? Lambert didnt really like anyone, it was a safe assumption. But Geralt knew- knew Lambert actually at least tolerated Dandelions presence.

He even told Geralt that he wanted to be Dandelion's friend. That Dandelion reminded him of Aiden. He opened up to Geralt, surely his own family wouldn't do him dirty like that?

Dandelion didnt answer, and Lambert didnt know why, but it disapointed him.

'lambert : i gotta know what those tricks are though, care if i ask for a little more convincing? ;)'

Lambert was going to shit his pants.

First, he double texts. Which is fine, because Dandelion like... quadruple texts. But then he had to hit on the man.

It was playful, right? It wasn't gay. Playful. A game.

Why was his heart racing again?

He was straight anyway.

~~~~~~

Eskel was full of concern at the dinner table when Lambert didnt show up. There sat Geralt and Vesemir, but Lamberts seat was eerily just.. empty.

"Lambert skipped his farm work today," Vesemir said, taking a bite of his mashed potatoes, before grabbing salt and shaking what seemed to be half the bottle in it. Taking another bite, he seemed satisfied.

"He didnt respond to my texts at all. Read every single one, too." Eskel said. "And he..."

Eskel did not want to throw Lambert under the bus. Not when it seemed something was seriously wrong.

"I had to pick up his fucking slack," Geralt said. "Seriously, this kid needs to grow up. We all work in jobs we don't like. I don't like slaughtering pigs and looking at blood, and I'm sure that Eskel doesn't like performing surgery. But we aren't babies about it."

Geralt was chewing into his food like a rabid animal, clearly angry. The steak that was on his plate was massacred, cut up and stabbed.

The walls at Kaer Morhen were pretty thin. The farm itself was nice, but the house wasn't in the perfect condition. It was pretty, but old, some of the rooms half-finished.

Therefore none of the men were surprised or so much as even flinched when Lambert yelled, seemingly speaking to his T.V screen and taking his anger out on Overwatch.

90% of Lambert's free time was spent on video games. It used to be with his girlfriend, Kiera, but she slowly started avoiding him.

He hardly noticed the change. It was gradual; slow, but eventually he caught on. She wasn't the same.

For his own sake, he left her. He will admit, he loved her, but it wasn't hard. She messaged him once every few days.

"He broke up with Kiera, Geralt." Eskel says. "And now hes having a rough time. Maybe we should cut him some slack."

"Don't really care. Shouldn't of been as toxic as he was." Geralt said.

"We should try to understand Lambert. He comes before a girl, Geralt. Put those events with her aside, it's clearly driving a wedge between the three of you."

They could hear Lambert; which means Lambert could hear them.

Toxic? That was funny. He devoted everything to that girl. She ran a small business he would fund- which typically took his full paycheck from Vesemir. Other than that, she didn't really work. He paid for everything.

Toxic was funny.

"Lambert was too much stress on her. Shes a girlfriend, not a therapist. Girls don't like emotional guys, I cant help that." Geralt says, sharply and angrily.

"Lambert hardly talks about emotions." Eskel corrects.

"Sure as hell corrects me all the damn time about them. Sick of him calling me ungrateful and shit. I cant control his losses." Geralt said, with a tone that ended the conversation there.

~~~~~~

Toxic was funny. Really, really funny. Was it toxic to correct your brother on his own toxic behavior?

Lambert didn't understand.

Geralt. A man who ran everything in his life with his dick, not his brain. Who cheated on women, who verbally abused his friends. Who ignores his so called "best friend" because he's mad.

Thats actually not really that bad, but whatever. Lambert was mad, and petty, and wondering why Dandelion hadn't answered him.

Why was he thinking of that? Not okay, Lambert. He's busy. Probably recording music and getting yelled at by his directors.

Toxic was funny, when Lambert was so loyal. When Lambert tried his best to fit in, he just genuinely never did.

Toxic was so, so funny.

His mind ran off, to a different place, one where theres grass and tulips and roses and fuck- Dandelions.

Dandelion.

Would Dandelion prioritize Lambert over Geralt? Sure, they'd talk. But when he's mad at Geralt. When Geralt's not around. He would be a rebound for a best friend.

Just like he was to Kiera.

He had just won a match when his phone dinged and lit up three times.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : hi ! sorry had to finish up recording a song for my album. stupid director :(

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : oh but id lovee to convince you. maybe we can get a lil tipsy and ill go home with you, yeah handsome? ;)'

Lambert was kicking his feet, giggling, and squealing like a high school girl. Well, his face was stoic, but mentally he was there. Mentally he was going insane.

He had never been hit on deliberately like that. Like stated before, he was the odd one out. With Geralt and Eskel his brothers, he was known as the ugly one of the family.

He was surprised when Kiera wanted him. Him, out of the three. He had made the move, god forbid a woman make a move on him. But she still accepted- still chose him.

She used to fuck with Geralt a couple years back, back when Geralt and Yennefer would cheat on each other. He always had girls left and right. Kiera, Yennefer, Triss, and boy, did he have a shit ton of one night stands.

He wasn't surprised when Kiera got distant. It hurt at first, but he realized one thing- thats life. She lost interest.

When people normally got to know him, they would see Geralt and run. They'd lose interest in him, all of the sudden. But Geralt would never take them from him though, he wasn't that bad a person.

And he wasn't a bad person either. But Geralt's best friend currently hitting on him? It shouldn't make him feel giddy inside. It shouldn't make him so happy that it felt like someone had chosen him over Geralt.

He couldn't help but smile.

But it was playful. It was all playful.

He couldn't help but feel his smile drop, as he went to read the last message from Dandelion. His face contorted in anger; wanting to lash out all over again.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : it was geralt. glad to see youve changed ur mind tho! <3'

#geralt x dandelion #dandelion #lambert witcher #lambert #lambert x aiden #aiden witcher #witcher eskel #eskel #vesemir #triss merigold #yennefer of vengerberg #lambert x dandelion #lambskier #jaskier/dandelion #geralt x jaskier #jaskier

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phoenixexho · 2 years ago

Text

a Buddie WIP for yall (for a bit of context, i wanted to include Pepa setting Eddie up on those dates so i wrote this as if the whole Ana thing took Marisol’s place):

He wasn’t sure why he called Hen. He only called her when Denny and Chris had plans which was not today. Usually Buck would be the person he’d go to in a situation like this, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that Hen was who he needed to talk to. And so he called.

“Hey, Eddie.” She answered, the confusion clear in her voice.

“Uhh Hi.”

“What’s going on? Is something wrong?”

“I broke up with Ana”

“Oh…” She stayed silent, waiting for him to speak.

“I’m sorry, I dont know why I called. I’ll just, I’ll talk to you at work tomorrow.”

“No no it’s fine! Why did you break up?” Her question was cautious. He understood why. Sure, they felt like family but not the kind of family you talk to about every little thing in your life. More like the kind you see only at large family gatherings; talk about your job and kids and call it good.

“I don’t know. I mean I do, I just…”

“It’s okay, Eddie.”

“I don’t think I ever liked her. Which is insane, she’s beautiful and Chris loves her. She’s good with him and she’s funny and she’s kind and I just…didn’t feel a thing.”

Hen stayed silent.

“I thought I would. I thought maybe if I gave it time, I would fall in love with her. I mean love at first sight doesn’t exist right? It takes time?” he could hear the desperation in his voice, hear himself begging for answers. He didn’t know what he even wanted to hear.

“It does,” she sighed, “sometimes it’s hard to figure out what you want, that takes time too. And it’s okay to take that time.”

“I know what I want. She’s everything I want and yet…” He trailed off, this was all so frustrating, he didn’t understand why he couldn’t just love her, “The idea of us felt so perfect.” It was true, everything he wanted in a woman had been there in Ana.

Hen was still silent; God why did he choose to call her, this has to be so awkward for her.

“Maybe I’m just not over Shannon, I don’t know, I felt ready.”

“That could be.” She paused sighing again. “Or maybe it’s something else?”

“Like?”

“Tell me about Shannon, how did you meet?”

Eddie was thrown for a loop by the sudden line of questioning but answered anyway, what harm could it do, “We had math class together in middle school.”

“Wow, that’s-you were so young.”

He laughed a little. “Yeah we were.”

“And how did you start dating?”

“We were best friends for years. Then summer before our senior year, she asked me on a date. And I thought why not? I loved spending time with her and she made me happy.”

“Why not?” he could practically see her expression through the phone, raised eyebrows and a smile in her eyes, like she knew something he didn’t.

“I liked her. I just didn’t realize it at first. There was no other girls I thought about, it was just her and the idea of having her around for my entire life made me feel warm and safe.”

Hen hummed gently. “Eddie, that-that doesn’t necessarily sound like romantic love.”

“What? She was my wife of course I loved her.”

“I’m not saying that sweetie.” She still sounded so cautious, like she was talking to an upset child. Why was she being so careful with him?

“What are you saying?”

“Can I ask you more questions before I explain?”

“Uhhh sure?”

“Did you and Ana sleep together?”

“What?”

“You don’t have to answer, really I don’t want to know but I’m trying to help.”

“No, um, it’s fine. I just don’t understand why you’re asking.”

“Just trust me here.”

He rubbed his hand over his face. “No, we didn’t. She never made any move to.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I don’t know. With Shannon she always made the first move. I didn’t want her to think all I wanted from her was sex so… It wasn’t like I minded anyways sex is, it’s fine but it’s not as big of a deal as everyone acts like it is.”

Hen laughed. “Sorry, ‘it’s not as big of a deal as everyone acts like it is?’ “

He felt his face heating up, this wasn’t a topic he had really brought up with anyone. “Yeah…” he cringed at himself. “I mean it feels nice but so does…” he stopped himself, sure Hen didn’t want to hear about that.

“Eddie, have you considered the issue is that you don’t like women?”

“What? I- What makes you think that?”

“Every girl your Tia has set you up with you find some small issue with, you only ever liked the idea of being with Ana, the way you describe your feelings for Shannon sounds like how someone would talk about their best friend…”

“That’s not true. I’ve had friends. The way I feel about Buck is nothing like what I felt for her.”

“And how do you feel about Buck?”

How did he feel about him? That wasn’t something he had ever taken the time to think about. Buck, someone who made his heart feel so full it hurt just from being in the same room. Who could somehow make him smile even in his worst moments. Buck who loved his kid so much it made him want to cry. Buck who made him feel safer than he’d felt his entire life and yet still made his heart race when he stood close. Buck and his curls that always seemed to lay perfectly. Buck and his muscular arms that made his knees feel weak if he thought about them for too long. Oh.

“Oh.”

Hen chuckled.

“Hen, what do I do?”

“That’s not my decision Eddie.”

“I- how could I have had it so wrong?”

“Repression. Sometimes you want to be what’s expected of you so badly that your brain hides the truth.”

“Yeah but that’s too easy right?”

“Sometimes it just takes a little push.”

“So I’m…”

“I don’t know. That’s for you to figure out, I just told you what I see. To me your experience sounds like a extremely repressed gay man’s. But I’m not you.”

“But I-I had a wife, and I loved her. I really did.”

“That can still be true Eddie. I mean look at Athena and her ex.”

#idk if this is any good but enjoy anayways #buddie #evan buck buckely #evan buckley #eddie diaz #hen wilson #buddie 911 #911 abc #911 fic #911 fox #911 fanfic #911 fandom

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the-6th-harbringer · 1 year ago

Text

PLEASE READ

Hey. So. It's been a. while.

trigger warning: referenced suicide

So, if you haven't noticed, I literally evaporated for two weeks straight without any clarification on why or sign of actually being alive, unlike my last two week disappearance. Unfortunately, this unexpected evaporation does not come with a big "ooh more trauma more lore and angst for scara" thing.

This just happens to be my goodbye post.

I know, it's weird and kind of rude for me to dip for two weeks and then reappear like "hey fuckers im QUITTING hAHaA". Buuuut not only was my dad being annoying and hogging my laptop, I also barely have had time to myself for the past weeks. New family members have been introduced into my life, so now I have double the amount of little siblings to look after. (from 3 to 6. dont ask "how" thats a personal thing). juggling that with school, social stuff, fucking exams which are coming up in 3 months of my gOD, and other even more personal demons that I've been battling, its been. a lot.

SO, to make sure I do not pull the same move as Scaramouche did on the last day of his sakurarealm torture(iykyk), I'm taking a leave from tumblr. Don't know how long I'll be gone, don't know if I'll ever be back, but I didn't just wanna quit without at least telling you guys so you don't think I've been murdered or something.

On a more serious note, thank you all for all of the support and love you've given Scara and all my other blogs. While some of you are a handful, the majority of you are actually the sweetest and silliest community of people I've ever known. I hope you all have excellent lives.

Now, as for what happens to Scara, we're shoving him in another coma. which is entirely at the mercy of Wanderer's mod, because they're my friend outside of tumblr too and i trust that they'll use this as a major angst moment. Put an F for Cyrille and Scara guys

NOW: a few honorable mentions and thank yous:

@wandering-hat-guy : im not writing a goodbye type thing for you because i will literally talk to you tomorrow, but thank you for being an awesome brother-sibling figure. you are the wanderer to my scara :]

@an-active-rabbit : Thank you for being an extremely fun person to rp with. The puppets and the heart is a rp that wont leave my mind for a while yet. Many hugs for you! And I wont be forgetting Mikaven anytime soon >:3

@cyrille-leclair-de-fontaine : AUGH budddyyy im sorry to do this to you. But thank you for creating Cyrille in the first place. Cyscara my beloveds, they will always hold a place in my heart. Maybe one day they'll actually get somewhere. Im also willing to be your friend outside of tumblr if you wish because you're cool >:D

@dishonxsty : For also being a goofy little goober. My favorite rp with you was definitely the ouppy's and scara, and also kudos to you for making like 17 bajillion blogs and being able to manage them all at once somehow like???? go king go

Annnd @monsieur-neuvillette , who seems random because I havent rped with them in literally a century, but thank you for being the one to indirectly help me get over my fears of starting a rp blog AND being the inspo for me to start rping on tumblr in the first place. hugs for you too

Well, alls said that's been said, so I think I'll just end it off here, because it's been like 10 minutes since I started typing this and I am eepy.

Goodbye everyone except wandermod, and thank you for sticking with me through Scara's really out of pocket journey.

(PS: Rest in peace @the-tainted-blossom . I miss you everyday.)

#scara kinnie moment #i should probs reblog this to my other blogs acctually #yeah lemme do that

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alaskashigh · 1 year ago

Note

Since it's Halloween do you have have any Halloween or spooky Cali x York Headcanon?

YES I DO ACTUALLY

New York isn’t the biggest fan of Halloween, his favorite holiday being christmas (i assure you that everyone in the statehouse knows how much of a fan he is for christmas.), so he doesn’t really celebrate Halloween and didn’t start handing out treats until California showed up in his life. California likes handing out treats to the youngins and he was surprised and dumbfounded that New York wasn’t really interested in it. So what was he gonna do? Sit there every Halloween and watch the kids pass by, reminding him of happy times with his own kids on Halloween, and hand out treats by himself? No, of course not why would you think that? It took a lot of convincing, but he managed to get New York on board with his candy giving every Halloween. And if New York secretly enjoys it as well, he’d never tell a soul.

California would do family costumes with his kids when they were younger and wanted to match, so one year when his kids were back at home for the holiday (like they weren’t at his house every single day, even if they had their own homes and lives.) they decided on doing another family costume for the memories. He isn’t sure how he did it, nor does any of the states know how, but he managed to get New York to dress up with them. That day was one of the families fondest memories after that, up there with all of the past Halloweens where California would struggle to support his family and try his hardest just to make Halloween and all of the other holidays special for his children. (i’m not projecting, you are. ((being poor all your life is hard))

While New York isn’t all that interested in the actual dressing up part and trick or treating (though he is starting to like it as California gets him to do more and more Halloween things with him) he is interested in baking treats and handing them out to the kids that show up at his house. (of course making sure that the kids dont have any allergies or anything that could possibly be in his sweet treats. he doesn’t want to hurt them. so thats why he makes different varieties of all of his treats.) California finds it endearing and afterwards gives him a kiss for each treat made and given away.

The Northeast like to decorate and do fun things for each holiday, so New York likes to drag California along to each one so he can get more familiar with the Northeast states and also so he doesn’t have to deal with being a third wheel to every couple there. (He won’t admit that he also just likes having California be apart of more personal things, and that he misses him when he’s stuck alone at the holiday parties, even before they had gotten together and were just friends.)

They play games, have a competitive food decorating challenge, watch scary movies, etc. It’s nice.

California loves to do cheesy couples costumes, New York hates it and will refuse to participate, although he always folds in the end and ends up dressing up with him. (idea from this awesome fic by awkwardbucketofcrazies (wordsurge4)

I’m tired and have a long day tomorrow, so i’m sadly gonna cut this short. I hope you like these headcanons and that (if you celebrate) you had/have a happy halloween!

#wttt new york #wttsh new york #wttt california #wttsh california #wttt #welcome to the table #welcome to the statehouse #wttsh #ben brainard #wttt caliyork #wttsh caliyork #wttt yorkcali #wttsh yorkcali

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cljordan-imperium · 1 year ago

Text

Heaven & Arthur Visit The LaVeaus

@call-sign-shark CELEBRATES 1K

This is part 1 of Heaven & Arthur visiting Mel and her family because I'm cutting it off at 2680 words. LOL

Modern AU

@call-sign-shark's OC Heaven and her husband Arthur Shelby travel to Louisiana to visit some military men Arthur served under and with in the military. But it is Heaven that gets the biggest surprise of the visit.

“We leave in an hour to pick up Arthur and his wife, Heaven, from the airport,” Cade entered the kitchen to let Mel know. He dropped a kiss on the top of her head, then looked around at Mama Marie, Dontanion and Francios. “You two, behave.” He pointed at the brothers with a serious expression. Arthur was suffering from PTSD from the Gulf and the last thing anyone needed was the two LaVeau brothers being assholes and causing him to have some kind of attack.

“One wandering ancestor and we will forever be doubted.” Dontantion smirked and winked at his sister, as his shoulders raised. “One wandering ancestor who wandered in on my friend who was getting dressed for her wedding and gave her a death prophecy.” Mel rolled her eyes as Cade took a seat next to her and planted a kiss on her cheek this time. “You are lucky she did not stroke out.” Casting a look over to her mother, “can you please make these two behave, mama?”

“Boys, do not make me resurrect your fathers.” The smile she gave her sons made everyone’s blood run cold. As loving and warm as Marie was, no one ever forgot she was also the scariest person currently walking the planet. Only Rasputin may have ever topped her, and she had far outlived him.

“Yes, mama.” Francois replied before putting a strong elbow into his younger brother’s side. Even at over one hundred and fourty, Dontanion sometimes did not act a day over 16. “No ancestors scaring Cade’s friend, or his lovely wife.” The look in his eye was serious. Even if the death prophecy HAD come to pass, and they HAD hated Mel’s friend, and it HAD been hilarious at the time, causing a brave soldier still bearing the mental wounds of war further trauma would not be something they would partake in.

“Please, he was over in the Gulf with me and some of the guys on the team. He was under Alexander. Has some bad PTSD, seeing spirits that he would think were hallucinations from there might just send him…” Cade raised his brows and tilted his head, he didn’t need to finish, both brothers were nodding. “His wife, I don’t know much about but he says she is an angel and shy. Her name’s Heaven. She seems to have dont him a lot of good, he seems to be healing more. Figured she and Mel would be the ones hanging out, maybe with Mama Marie too.” He winked over at the woman who was like a second mother to him and who could make anyone feel welcome and loved.

“Of course, any of your friends are welcome here.” Love and warmth emanated from Marie. While she had immense powers, which she did not hesitate to use to protect those she loved; she was, at her heart, a mother. All of Mel’s friends had been adopted as surrogate children. None were turned away if they needed a mother figure, that was just Marie and the time she came from.

“Thank you, mama.” Love radiated off of Melania too as her gaze alternated around the other four in the room at the time, before her attention turned to Cade. “When do the others get here? I know Alexander got in last night and is still passed out in his room.”

“Tomorrow.” Cade answered, picking her hand up off of the table and kissing the back where there was a scar that lay across running from just below where her pinky met her hand to the crease of her wrist. The last evidence of the whole ordeal involving Ambrose and Adama. Even though it was long ago, it still made his heart clench and sometimes made him want to ask Marie to bring the assholes back so they could kill them again. “So you girls will have twenty-four hours before testosterone rules the house.” He winked at her, banishing thoughts of the past.

“Lovely. Just remember, Archibald can contain you all if you get out of line.” The whole room erupted in laughter at the threat of having her pet albino alligator snack on people. Not that he hadn’t been used as nature’s body disposal device before when required, but not on people they liked.

*****

Louis Armstrong Airport in Kenner was a bustle of activity as Mel sat on Cade’s lap down on the first floor by the baggage claim. It seemed the easiest place for Arthur and Heaven to find them. Although, from what Arthur had told Cade over the phone, Heaven shouldn’t be too hard to spot with snow white hair and skin just as fair. A statement that had apparently gotten Cade promptly cussed out for mentioning she should fit in with the aforementioned alligator in the swamp. Mel had a feeling that her fiance was lucky he’d been on the other side of the ocean from Arthur at the time.

They watched as the flight from Heathrow Airport flipped over from “On Time” to “Landed”. It still amazed Mel that they had direct flights, and for no more money, not that money mattered to her family…with Ambrose and Nic “missing”, she had complete control over Meirs Enterprises Worldwide, which meant more money than she cared to think about. For friends of Cade, money was NOT an option anyway.

About 20 minutes later, Mel felt it, somewhere near was a powerful witch. Her hand went instinctively to Cade’s, their fingers interlacing. The signature was not one she recognized, the magic different, old world like her mother and brothers’. Her eyes scanned the crowd as people descended from the second floor on the escalators. She could more than stand on her own, but after the past events, having Cade there without her family was not something she was altogether comfortable with. If whomever possessed the magic was hostile, it could get ugly fast if they sensed her as well. Not since Adama had she faced down a threat, and that…she closed her eyes and swallowed before the thought fully materialized.

“Do I need my gun, or is this something of the invisible sort, babe?” Cade’s chin rested on her shoulder as he spoke just loud enough for her to hear. He knew her signs well enough. When she was tense, it was never a good one.

“Shooting them is as good as dropping a house on them, I guess. A lot easier when inside too.” She tried not to let her nerves show with some humor, but she was anything but lighthearted with the situation. As they sat there waiting for Arthur and Heaven, she did not stop scanning everyone coming in their direction. It was that scanning that produced what would be the biggest shock of the day, the revelation that the witch was Arthur’s wife. “You are definitely NOT shooting the witch.”

Cade chuckled, having no clue what had suddenly changed the beauty on his lap’s mind. “And that would be because….”

Mel stood as the pair approached them, “you must be Heaven,” she greeted the tiny woman with a bright smile and offered hand. There was no way that Heaven couldn’t sense her as well, but seemed to completely not notice. She then remembered that Cade had mentioned that Heaven was originally from France, and since Louisiana is a bilingual state, she had an idea to make the woman feel even more welcome. “Bienvenue en Louisiane où dans le bayou, les sorcières sont vénérées. Je crois que vous et ma famille vous entendrez très bien. Ma mère est une grande prêtresse du vaudou. (Welcome to Louisiana where in the bayou, the witches are revered. I believe that you and my family will get along very well. My mother is a high priestess of Voodoo.)”

Heaven’s eyes widened at her words, clearly not having expected them. “Comment le saviez-vous? (How did you know?)” The woman looked absolutely confused, which was when Mel remembered she still had the talisman on that Dontanion had given her when they were hunting Adama that cloaked her magic.

“Parfois, une sorcière en connaît une autre. J'ai aussi deux frères sorciers à la maison. C’est en quelque sorte une affaire de famille. (Sometimes a witch just knows another one. I have two warlock brothers at home too. It kind of runs in the family.)” Mel gave the woman a wink and then turned to Arthur and Cade who were both looking at her with rather confused expressions.

“What, can’t one girl fluent in French welcome another? Do you know how often I get to use that?” She smiled, Cade giving her a look that said he knew better and she’d have to explain once that they were alone. “You must be Arthur.” She extended her hand to him, “it is such a pleasure to meet any friend of Cade’s. You both are now family, that is how it works here. We will spend a couple of days out on the Plantation, and a couple here in the Garden District. My mother has been up since dawn cooking, so we best not keep her waiting too long. Mama Marie is not one to be kept waiting.” Mel laughed.

Cade knew his fiance better than that. Those were far too many words for just a polite hello, and he did recognize enough to know that she’d found her witch. But, he was a good boy and would say nothing. Things normally worked out more in his favor that way. “You’re discussing how to bankrupt us in the French Quarter aren’t you?” A brow rose and he nudged Arthur with an elbow. “I hope you brought all your plastic, bro, my girl can shop!”

Arthur for his part either missed what the exchange was about or was so entranced by his bride he gave not one fuck. He did, however, growl at Cade’s remark, which told the fellow soldier that he probably had experienced a similar shopping excursion to the one Mel had more than once put him through. Although, to bankrupt them, Mel would have to literally buy the entire French Quarter, as in the land it was sitting on and all the buildings.

"Can you not behave for two minutes?" Mel’s brow rose as she looked between the two men, Cade trying not to laugh and Arthur about taken aback at her words. “No growling.” She raised both brows and looked pointedly at the Brit. Heaven giggled next to her, which just had Arthur rolling his eyes. “Now, you boys do the heavy lifting of getting the luggage, Miss Heaven and I are going to go get the car from the garage and bring it around. And you two can ride in the back.” She dropped a kiss on Cade’s cheek with a big grin and a wink over to Heaven. She already liked the striking and beautiful woman. Wait till her family laid eyes on her!

*****

From the airport, to River Road, Mel gave a guided tour to their guests of the historical context of each and every plantation along the road. Her mother had been alive for the building of many, although she did not share that quite yet. For Heaven, it might not have surprised her, for Arthur, he might have tried to exit the vehicle while at 60MPH. The latter was more her concern.

Finally they arrived at Vita Pacis Plantation (Life of Serenity). It had been renamed after Ambrose’s death, her mother choosing the name for what this now represented to them all. It was a place of peace, of respite from the life they lived in Baton Rouge and New Orleans, from the missions they went on collecting artifacts around the globe. It was to this estate, to the buildings that rested upon the land and had for over 300 years, that Mel and her friends returned to find peace and to be at peace. It would be on this estate where she would marry Cade in six months.

As they drove up the red brick drive, live oaks arching over it with their green leaves and the dangling spanish moss providing shade, she heard Heaven gasp as she got her first view of the grand plantation house mansion. It was impressive with white limestone exterior and grecian columns that rose three stories, the floor to ceiling french doors that served as windows to the rooms were framed with dark red hurricane shutters. It created an impressive picture when famed with the arch of the live oaks over the drive. Just the guest house had four bedrooms and was a sight, but the grand mansion was something out of a movie. Lovingly preserved by the Meirs family, and now the LaVeaus, it was a piece out of time and history. The dark stains of the past that it held could never be erased, but they would be made up for over time. Now it stood for the LaVeau legacy, and that was a strong, vibrant, and proud legacy.

Mel knew that when she had opened the wrought iron gates of the drive, it had alerted those within the guardhouse and the mansion of their arrival. No one got onto or off of the property without being noticed. If you tried to come on secretly, there were things seen and unseen that would greet you. You had better hope the former got to you before the latter did. So, when Mel pulled the large black SUV around to the back of the mansion, it was of little surprise that her mother stood flanked by her brothers, waiting to greet their guests. She could not wait till they discovered the surprise that lay in store.

Once the car was stopped, and everyone was out, Mel led Arthur and Heaven over to her family while Cade unloaded the luggage from the back. She could tell that all three of them immediately recognized in Heaven what she had and the adoring smile her mother cast on Heaven warmed her heart. Marie was known for taking in anyone needing a mother and love, and it was clear she was already looking that way at Heaven, no matter if she had family back home or not.

Marie was the first to speak, stepping forward and taking both of Heaven’s hands in her own. “Salve, fili mi, maiores te ad nos perduxerunt. Hic semper domum habebis. (Welcome, my child, it seems the ancestors have lead you to us. Here you will always have a home.)” Then she leaned forward and placed a soft kiss in the middle of Heaven’s forehead.

Arthur tensed and Mel leaned over, “my mother adopts anyone she feels needs love. She sensed that in Heaven and has welcomed her to always see this as a home.” She kept her voice low as to not embarrass Heaven who was now tightly embracing Marie and she swore she saw a tear on the porcelain skin of her cheek. “You too Arthur, Vita Pacis means Life of Serenity. Any friend of Cade’s is family here, where the mind can find peace when one needs.” With a soft and warm smile on her face, her eyes gently closed as she inclined her head.

The stoic man just inclined his head in return before turning back to the scene where both Francois and Dontanion were further introducing themselves to his wife, who seemed to be taking everything in stride. As dwarfed as the beauty was by her gruff husband, she looked absolutely tiny next to Mel’s brothers who were both well over six feet in height and broad shouldered. “See, I told you this trip would be good for you.” Cade finally made it up to them and clapped Arthur on the shoulder. “And Mama Marie and the spooky bunch has adopted another stray. I guess we’re brothers now, Arthur. Wait till you taste her food! We may never get you back to England.” They all laughed as they began to head in to see exactly how big of a feast Marie HAD prepared.

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